everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

five things i need to do and keep putting off.

2010-03-30T20:19:00.001-07:00

1. read for film class.

2. edit articles.

3. three final papers!

4. internship applications.

5. painting(s)/writing(s).

every day i wake up thinking "today is the day i will do everything on my to-do list" and then i go to class until 5PM or then i work until 7PM or then it pours all day and i find myself in the same exact place: my desk watching law and order or at the gym watching law and order. though i'm proud of myself for reading a book (for class!) while i worked out today and i did my science lab, so now i'll reward myself with watching law and order and going to bed early. lucky for me, my first two classes are cancelled tomorrow so i don't have to be anywhere until 11PM. and then i have to work. it might be a long day. i really need to find the motivation to do all of this work because once nice weather rolls around, i won't want to do anything but lay in central park and sleep.

anyway, since i've last posted in here (don't worry, i've been writing in my real journal): i went on spring break (north carolina!), saw some great shows (rx bandits) and had some unforgettable times (jeff and ant were here last weekend, oh dear). the weather is supposed to be super nice tomorrow and for the rest of the week. i wish i wish i wish i had a bicycle! i miss riding a bike.

also since i've last posted all i've been listening to is: dead to me, shook ones, title fight and smoke or fire. it's all good. i feel like making mixes so i might do that tomorrow instead of the original list i wrote here.

finally, some peektures of the places i've been lately:

five things stressing me out.

2010-02-22T07:18:00.001-08:00

1. make-up work for school.

2. LSAT article.

3. photo assignment.

4. reading/responding to e-mails.

5. sick.

i've been sick for the last week and it's made me want to never come back to school. i'll admit it: i miss being at home. i miss my dogs, my brother(s), my car, my bed. i love new york city but right now all it's associated with is school work. i don't have time to go on adventures. i don't have time to go to all the shows i want to go to. i don't have the money to live here comfortably. i don't have the money to do anything, really. this weekend was good, even though i was so sick and couldn't hear out of one ear and had a coughing fit every five minutes. i saw shutter island for free before it even came out. i saw kara dj and stole liquor from these annoying kids who showed up in my room. i went home on saturday, got lunch with danny, taylor and tina. showered, jeff came over (!) and we went to NEW FOUND GLORY which was awesome except really rough and i was already weakened by this damn illness and tons of meds. went to the diner after with mike, collette, mike's brother and his girlfriend (i miss diners). came back to new york on sunday for H2O which was probably the best show i've ever been to (yeah). even though i was still sick and still coughing and fell over once (lawl) but whatever. now i'm procrastinating doing allllllllll of the things i need to be doing night now. i'm skipping my history lecture to do a bunch of science labs that are due at 12:30. :| i want to skip my film class to come home early and not at 5:30 so i can get a head start on all my work. but i actually like film and i missed it last week because i missed EVERYTHING last week.

speaking of missing, add to the list: shooting film, cait, john (pictured) and delaware.

five albums i've been listening to lately that don't suck.

2009-12-22T21:26:00.000-08:00

1. new found glory - new found glory: because i'm really excited to see the anniversary tour. plus this reminds me of 6th and 7th grade. plus i love chad gilbert. plus "hit or miss" and "sincerely me" and "dressed to kill" are in my top ten as far as nfg songs go.

2. we are the union - who we are: ska that i don't hate, probably because it's far enough away from ska that i can still listen to it.

3. lifetime - jersey's best dancers: classic. it's length perfectly coincides with my walk to and from campus everyday. not to mention i think most of the lyrics are really cute and that kind of stuff matters to me.

4. the misfits - misfits: i think the misfits are the ONE band i'm ashamed to admit i still listen to. only because they're everywhere and you can find the fiend skull printed on just about everything and i think that's kind of lame. i wish the quality was better (but that can be said for every misfits album) but a lot of my favorite misfits tracks come from this.. "where eagles dare", "she", "astro zombies", "horror business" and "skulls".

5. paint it black - new lexicon: this album has never sucked and i usually listen to it, but lately it's more listens than usual. i don't know why. probably because now i follow dan yemin on tumblr. lame.

five reasons i have a problem with NYU.

2009-12-17T08:57:00.000-08:00

1. all they want is your money.

2. all they care about is your money.

3. you are nothing to them but $200,000.

4. i think requiring a double major with journalism is NOT about making sure i have a "specialization", it's about making sure i don't graduate in four years.

5. everything just sucks.

i probably wouldn't have spent $400 on 6 credits from seton hall if i knew NYU wasn't going to take them and instead require that i take all 16 credits of my language at NYU. it's funny that they were on the list on colleges that would accept seton hall credits. and it's also funny that my advisor told me these 6 credits that i already paid for would get me out of my language requirement here. turns out everyone was wrong. turns out i won't be graduating on time without taking either summer or winter classes (HERE, of course, since they rarely accept credits from other universities). i just want to drop out and get a job somewhere. this shit is really bringing me down. the worst part is i finished all of my finals for this semester around 10 AM this morning and since then i've been nothing but frustrated, anxious and nervous about my future in this place. something is backwards with that, i think. i just want to go home (so my parents can confront me about all this and yell at me like it's my fault) and sleep.

five things that were so new york about last night.

2009-12-06T10:33:00.001-08:00

1. the kid who played "claus" in a series of unfortunate events was at a party at my place.

2. todd, joe, alex and i were on a balcony overlooking 14th street screaming "show us your titties!" at everyone who walked by. (a little more mardi gras than new york, but you get the idea)

3. the nypd were all over the lobby of my building at 3AM.

4. we listened to a song written by one of joe's professors about shoving waffles up someone's butt.

5. the last thing i remember is looking at my phone and it was 5:17AM.

this weekend was a bit ridiculous. i've been hanging out some new friends around here quite regularly and i'm enjoying it. and i'm still hanging out with my old friends quite regularly and i'm still enjoying it. there have been a few nights, like last night, where both of these groups came together and i was just happy. happy happy happy and a little tipsy, but who cares. right now i'm sitting indian style and very zen like on the second floor of a new coffee shop called birch. i'm looking through floor to ceiling glass into the lobby of a hotel and writing this. i think i'm going to come here every day of my life from now on to relax and write and read and sit on this same comfortable couch in this very same way.

five reasons i love thanksgiving.

2009-11-30T16:52:00.000-08:00

1. uncle joe saying grace.

2. good stuffing.

3. thanksgiving shitshow.

4. seeing almost all of my bffs (cait was MIA).

5. driving on 22.

successful weekend, minus puking one night and not getting to see cait, but winter break is only 15 days away. weird to think about. cait's birthday is coming up very soon, i really want to impress her with the cake i'm going to make. probably not going to happen, though. unless i can figure out how to work that crazy shit she uses (fonton? fondon?). tonight i got almost nothing done except reading for journalism tomorrow (technically this was all i had to do, but i wanted to get a bunch of things finished). i did get to see a bunch of folks when they came over to eat dirt with us. so that was good. i think i'm just going to give up, take a shower, write a letter and watch always sunny and go to bed. i took the commuter train this morning at 7:30 and it was packed and gross. tomorrow in journalism i need to write in my journal, i haven't done that for the entire break. and i need to start my F.Y.E. paper. and i want to see russian circles tomorrow.

five things i want to accomplish this weekend.

2009-11-20T09:18:00.000-08:00

1. declare my major/minor. thinking journalism/history with a minor in studio art.

2. drink a can of four loko.

3. organize all the pictures on my computer.

4. see my family.

5. finish all the homework i have to do for next week.

i need to stop sitting on my computer with my back arched and do something. granted, i have to do most of these things while sitting on my computer. it's a really nice day out (or so my dashboard says) and i really want to take a walk to adorned and see what's up over there. i also want to straighten my hair to see how it looks. you know, the important things in life. i should start my day by going to the gym, though.

five reasons i haven't blogged here in a month.

2009-11-16T20:32:00.000-08:00

1. school.

2. figuring things out.

3. procrastination.

4. selectivewreckage.tumblr.com

5. college magazine blog. every week!

let's see. life has been crazy. CMJ came and went a while ago, i didn't go to any good shows but i worked the artist lounge every night and saw jeffrey star and met a lot of cool people. that was a hectic week, from what i remember. i feel like i'm going to be up late tonight. khush just dragged my sorry ass to the gym. it was nice. i baked brownies and promised myself i wouldn't do any homework. i've been up to my neck in papers for the last seven days. my fifth and final paper (until the next round are due) is due on wednesday, the same time as i register for classes. i have to get a lot of things figured out. it seems that as much as i try to, nothing ever comes of it. like, i'm thinking of switching my english major to a major in "social and cultural analysis". like, i need to transfer my credits here from seton hall. like, i need to open a new bank account. like, i'm ordering a new lens for $30. like, i really want to write a lot of letters and paint and clean my room and shower and dry my new/short hair. all of these things! i think i'll get started now. oh, i applied for a SPIN internship for next semester. fingers crossed. and i also got a job and it rules so so so much.

i've also been shooting more film, it's good for the soul. so good. see above. that's crime in stereo. that was such a good weekend. i miss cait and jeff. so much. and all my friends. but anyway, gotta stay positive.

five things of merit i've done today.

2009-10-12T21:31:00.001-07:00

1. scored a job interview for tomorrow.

2. updated my resume.

3. put together an intern application for SPIN.

4. did all my lit homework for wednesday.

5. sent in my college mag blog a day early.

there have been a lot of things on my to-do list that i simply haven't been to-do-ing. tonight i'm trying to get a lot of them done. it's currently 12:32 in the morning and i'd say about about halfway through. tomorrow i don't have to wake up until 10, so i figured i'd do something productive instead of staying up for no reason. this morning i woke up when manoa did and thought i forgot to set my alarm. i've been doing that a lot lately. i got a new blog, by the way, strictly for art and photos and quotes i like and things. i'm going to start putting my creative writing assignments in there, too. i really enjoy that class. especially professor robin goldfin. what a nice man. anyway: www.selectivewreckage.tumblr.com

went to jersey over the weekend with mano, elisabeth and chelsea. got to see my family, taylor (basically my family) and kara and the boys of morrell and some random friends of shannon/mike davis' who were really drunk. i was not. they did not amuse me. things we did: mall, pizza, football game, new brunswick party, diner, new hope. typical jersey. REALLY typical. but i love it.

this week/weekend is going to be hectic. everyone and their mother is coming into the city and i need to learn how to manage my time and money and etc. man, i need thanksgiving to be here already. there's a lot of worry about that weekend, too.

oh, i will say that we went to a party on saturday night in brooklyn. my dream man (for lack of better words, i guess) was "kicking it to me" (extreme lack of better words and i specifically remember john using this phrase once, anyway..). beard, black hoodie, jean jacket, sleeves, neck tattoo, glasses, played guitar, was in a band, lived in new york, loved black flag, talked to me about bane for a solid 10 minutes, bought me a beer. and for some reason i left. without taking the beer. who knows why.. I SURE DON'T. although he was shorter than me.. hm.

five places i went yesterday.

2009-09-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

1. goodwill (where i found an american apparel v-neck sweatshirt for six dollars).

2. starbucks (green tea lemonade, how i've missed you).

3. west village (also missed you).

4. times square!

5. the m&m store.

manoa and i left at 6:07 yesterday evening after deciding we were going to stay in for the night. we went out for mexican at "taco & tortilla king" (mexican food by way of china), right across third ave from us. then we wanted to go to the cheese shop near third north, so we walked down there but it was closed. so then we walked to kimmel to get froyo, but that was also closed. then we decided to walk around the west village, since we're never down there anymore. we got froyo somewhere besides kimmel and visited some of the same stores will smith shops in. then we decided to walk to times square just because we wanted to see the tourists and the new set-up. while we were there, we took pictures with a wax statue of morgan freeman and went to the m&m store and store m&ms. then we walked to grand central station and came home around 11. we watched SNL and a few hours of "locked up" and went to bed at 3. i had some really weird dreams. what a night, though. for "staying in", i had a lot of fun.

five things i've recently bought.

2009-09-20T20:49:00.000-07:00

1. heather gabel tote bag (had to).

2. weakerthans ticket (amazing show).

3. pork roll (i missed it).

4. arizona iced tea and lemonade (3.49 a gallon).

5. rum and coke in BK (bacardi, but oh well).

all of this because i knew that i had a little extra money coming in from working the lupe fiasco show. by the way, it was incredible. governor's island is so so so sweet. the ferry over there was free, so i expect to be going back a lot. the show was on water taxi beach, which featured a real beach and a pretty bad ass stage. not to mention an incredible view of manhattan. so i got there, worked the guest list, only had to turn three people away, heard lupe fiasco (i want all of his stuff. quality hip-hop), saw lupe fiasco from probably the best view in the house, got 12 dollars worth of free food, got paid $75. made it home in time to hop a subway to brooklyn, attend a pretty stellar indoor/outdoor party with cheap drinks (bacardi, but oh well), hold my friend's hair back while she puked all over the subway and the taxi and 23rd street, eat a chicken gyro that my lovely roommate brought home for me, pass out at 4 AM.

here's my awesome view of the show and the island.

five things i've done in these five months.

2009-09-16T20:42:00.000-07:00

1. lived at the beach.

2. listened to a lot of crime in stereo.

3. mourned. cried more than i ever have before.

4. moved back to new york.

5. lived life.

i'm always doing #5. i like doing it, i don't like complaining about it because i love my life. i wish i had wrote in this over the last five months because they were probably the most important months of my life so far. so much happened. i'm glad i've been writing it down somewhere (actual journal, what?). here are pictures from the last five months. in short.. i went on a life-altering trip to california, i only hung out with a few people at home but they're my favorite people i've ever met and i love them dearly, lost someone very close to me (rest in peace MPD, love you always and forever), parted ways with a few good friends who may have never really been my good friends in the first place, got my art tattooed on my best friend, explored the rest of my city, explored some great parts of my state, grew incredibly close to my family, saw and listened to and loved a lot of great music.

so that's that, in a nutshell. now i'm back in school and really excited about this semester. i'm taking a journalism class, a literary interpretation class, a creative writing class, a poetry class and a class on adolf hitler. aside from school, i've been trying to get my foot in the door at a few publications and boring bullshit like that. i write weekly for college magazine, i'm doing the SPIN street team. i got a twitter? twitter.com/amandadel. i've had one since february, katy made me do it. i'm working on a piece about cigarette smoke and men right now. story of my life. i'm too tired to finish it, but i will. i've been writing more than usual lately and i forgot how much i love it and miss it when i don't do it. i also miss a lot of people. especially matt, i was thinking about him today. he seems so far away. i made a mix for him, i'm working on a letter to pair it with and then i'll send it to some place in syracuse new york where it's probably snowing already.

fast forward to what i'm doing at this exact moment: listening to the weakerthans and feeling unattached to the feelings i felt five months ago when i listened to them. now i don't get sad or upset or any of that bullshit. i'm just happy they exist. i'm happy to exist, that's all. john k. sampson, or at least i feel anyway, is a fucking genius and i take every word and line he says to heart. i'm seeing the weakerthans with nick tomorrow night in brooklyn. i'm really excited and not worried about who will or won't be there, which i'm proud of.

right now "left and leaving" (album, not song) is on and i've listened to watermark (song, yes) over and over and over. it's beautiful.

hold on to the corners of today, we'll fold them up to save until it's needed.

five things i hate about "growing up".

2009-05-17T19:46:00.001-07:00

1. my heart hurts.

2. i don't want a job.

3. $200,000 of debt makes me constantly need to vomit.

4. being sort of alone.

5. when i fight the law, it usually wins.

"things are weird right now". i saw that on the webster hall marquee and it's really true. i thought i was going to bed but i think i'm going to stay up and paint and stop thinking about things that should no longer matter to me. i need cait and brit and the boys and adventures real soon. i have a crazy adventure coming up: california. writing, picture taking, relaxing for ten days. good. i need this. i need this. i need this. i keep telling myself that and it never seems to be any less true. cool.

five people i saw today that i really like and don't see every day.

2009-04-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

1. lindsay!!

2. dale!!

3. dann

4. professor ward regan

5. josh (he's been at coachella, so yeah)

it was a good day overall. the weather got better, i wore shorts and flip flops, managed to procrastinate until 9PM (and i'm still procrastinating by doing this). i just have to write another page or so on the first draft of my final writing paper. the one about what myspace is doing to affect cultural production. kewl. my last paragraph was about N*SYNC. no strings attached, muthafucka.

five songs i've listened to every single day since i last updated this thing.

2009-04-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

1. calexico - sunken waltz

2. okkervil river - song of our so called friends

3. the weakerthans - my favourite chords

4. alkaline trio - do you wanna know?

5. chuck ragan - california burritos

i can't believe it's taken me this long to organize my thoughts enough to write them down. i've been terrible at keeping track of things, i've been terrible at doing things lately. i just don't know what's going on and i feel like once school ends i'll be a lot better. things have been stressing me out. like this week, i have hundreds of pages to read and a little over 20 pages to write. the question is: what is the intent of modern philosophy? i've been considering writing the entire thing on bruce springsteen, but i'm not sure how that would work out.

this last semester of school i've tried to write papers that i actually enjoy writing. my paper for writing class is how myspace and other social networking sites have affected the music business and the public's concept of celebrity. i wrote another paper on why kanye west isn't a genius. i wrote something about the human brain. it's whatever.

i've found lately that life is generally better when you stick to doing things you love. i mean, i've always known that.. but lately i've been dragged down by a lot of STUPID THINGS. i need to stop being so crazy. i would like to blame this all on every english class i've ever taken and the need to analyze and compute every word someone says. sometimes you just need to take things for what they're worth and not worry that you're missing the real point. sometimes there's not a real point. if someone says they like you, then maybe they do (i understand that's bad grammar). maybe i need to stop thinking of reasons why they shouldn't. he shouldn't. whatever, english.

instead of thinking about words, i'm just going to think about feelings. the feeling of laying in bed and still being awake when the sun comes up. the feeling of tiredness that will last the entire next day. the feeling in your stomach when you hear the first few chords of "thunder road" on an acoustic guitar. the feeling of the possibility of a zombie attack, just so you can say you were prepared. (actually, in the event of a real zombie attack, i wouldn't know what to do. how do you kill something that's already dead?)

i like all of those feelings.

i like the feelings that i get listening to these five songs, which is why i've listened to them every day. right now, i'm listening to the version of "hey salty" from summer of the shark (portastatic!). i love listening to this song because: 1. it's so good. 2. it makes me feel so good. 3. i remember one night, dann texted me asking me to listen to it for him because his iPod was dead and he didn't have his computer. poor dann, he doesn't feel good. first it was the pink eye and now i think i gave him my tonsil disease. i'm currently working on a mix for him that we can listen to when we go home this weekend.. maybe that'll make it him feel better. going home this weekend will make me feel a lot better about everything. it will consist of a house party at brian's (also, brian called me today. had some good conversations. he's drumming in asher roth's music video tomorrow. fuck him for being awesome, but i'm glad we'll eventually be working together and taking over the world) and going to see alkaline trio! perfect feelings, perfect company, perfect weather.

hey salty, these days you might only haunt me, but it's okay. yeah, it's okay.

five cool things.

2009-03-02T16:33:00.000-08:00

1. beard.

2. tattoos.

3. camera lens.

4. glasses.

5. bruce springsteen.

i get it, no one else may. anyway.. lately i've really been feelin' spring break. i haven't really spent the last three weekends here and it makes me sad, though the places i go make me happy. i've got family all over the place and it's taken me a few months to realize that. i went to dinner with dann tonight and there was a copy of the anthology of tom waits on tape sitting on the table. FOR ME. it made me really happy, and now i'm in a happy mood. happy and lucky. happy go lucky? happy AND lucky to have such good people in college with me. most importantly dann, it's crazy that we both ended up here. sort of crazy, anyway. i still remember visiting NYU with him when i was a SOPHOMORE. damn.

lately i've also written a lot of papers and read a lot of books. right now i'm "reading" hobbes leviathan. i say "reading" because i'm just reading the sparknotes. whatever. i just spent the last half hour or so (probably more) dancing around our room with manoa with glowsticks and all the lights off, dancing to a lot of rap with this awesome new york hat on. she had an atlanta hat on. north vs south, civil war status.

this has become my newest favorite picture. my best friends! broken down, helpless on 287. northbound. bound for less than jake and goldfinger. in reality, bound for a night of dave diange and hookah on my back porch. i think it may have rained. i remember sitting with my feet dangling into the pool talking with cait about everything that just fell apart. physically, emotionally, etc.

five things i'm slowly going to do.

2009-02-17T20:48:00.001-08:00

1. organize my iTunes.

2. read all the books i never finished.

3. do work on time.

4. be outside more.

5. physically write in my journal more.

sometimes when i type too much, i feel like i'm going to get carpal tunnel. lately life has been packed. that's all. just packed. this weekend was amazing, i did a lot of fun things and went to a lot of good parties (sig ep/chip style, sip ep/bolton style, uptown). i'm hanging o

ut with someone more often and it's making me feel really good. i hope the feeling is mutual and not awkward. because there's always that awkward period of friendship when you can't tell if you're trying to hard and if the person doesn't mind you trying. you know? i know. i also took on a small internship (three days) with an artist manager. i worked almost twelve hours and got really sick in the process, i think. too much with too little to show for it. i really never want to be a manager. shit. he said being a tour manager is still fun, but other than that.. nah. i agree.

ps: this is where i hope to be living this time next year...

five reasons i didn't stay up late last night, after all..

2009-02-02T17:45:00.000-08:00

1. i have this terrible new fascination with "the secret life of the american teenager" and watched two episodes that made me tired.

2. i was tired.

3. i read for like two hours straight.

4. watching bruce springsteen for twelve straight minutes.. beautiful and exhausting.

5. i had to wake up at 8:15.

today i took that picture of alec's globe, which i thought turned out really good (the globe, not the picture.. even though that's alright, too). i got home from class/the library and just wanted to sleep.. it was really a wasted day up until right now. i really have to get things done. but i was taken back by a brian fallon cover of backstreets. and a ted leo cover of dancing in the dark.

sigh.

five bands i listened to last night that i like a lot more than i did two days ago.

2009-02-01T18:57:00.000-08:00

1. the ergs!

2. arrogant sons of bitches

3. the mars volta

4. the long winters

5. smoke or fire

last night, for being an absolute (or should i say absolut...) trainwreck, was still awesome. i just watched the craziest two minutes of the superbowl. well, besides the halftime show. i was so pleased with bruce's set! 10th avenue freeze out?! who would have guessed?! born to run is a given, i was happy with glory days and working on a dream. i'm bored with reading, i want to paint. i hate homework! blahblahblah, i feel like writing something. i probably will later. i'm going to stay up late.

five apologies.

2009-01-26T17:47:00.000-08:00

1. i'm sorry for never updating.

2. i'm still sorry.

3. still.

4. and still.

5. i'm terrible.

i really want to update this more. about things. like how awesome my winter break was or how i will start an art project tonight or how many new bands i listen to. by the way, i write every single week for college magazine. go to www.collegemagazine.com / look for "blogs" / look for "the 4-year-blog" / that's me.

i'm bad at keeping in touch. i need to send letters and mixes soon.

five christmas songs on the christmas list mix.

2008-12-11T22:55:00.000-08:00

1. don't shoot me, santa - the killers (awesome)

2. this time of year - mighty mighty bosstones (personal favorite)

3. do they know it's christmas? - band aid (bono, you're beautiful!)

4. merry christmas, baby - bruce springsteen

5. i won't be home for christmas - blink 182

i really need alkaline trio to release a christmas album sometime. or even a "holiday" one, if christmas isn't their thing. i've been completely in the christmas spirit lately. hannah and i spent three hours baking cookies, listening to "baby it's cold outside", dancing and reading the new york look book. and then later on i got a nice text from someone that surprised me a bit but made me think that i wasn't the only one getting a little nicer. i've got to be awake in a few hours to start a weekend full of cramming for finals.

"this time of year's my favorite time of year 'cause all of us are here together."

five cool things about shooting parties.

2008-12-09T17:57:00.001-08:00

1. gift bags.

2. free things.

3. attractive people.

4. DJ sets.

5. it's a party!

last night went well. i got to the star lounge around 6:30 and ended up leaving around 8:30 because i ran out of memory on my camera and it was getting incredibly crowded. there were 750 people on the guest list. highlight of the night was that i spoke to josh madden for a little bit and i took his picture. anyway: here are some shots.

five things i've done to procrastinate my term paper on beowulf.

2008-12-08T13:25:00.001-08:00

1. called both my parents three times each.

2. read "on politics and ethics" and did another paper.

3. ate trail mix.

4. updated my flickr with new pictures.

5. cleaned my closet.

i really have no motivation to do this. in the meantime, i finished every other paper due this week but i can't start the one that will definitely take me the most time. tonight i have a really exciting night, something more exciting than a paper. i'm photographing the women in music holiday party at the star lounge under the chelsea hotel. josh madden (brother of joel/benji) is DJ-ing and iron fist is doing the gift bags, so i hope i get one. and there's free beers and snacks and fun and i just get to go around and take pictures of everything and everyone. sick. i hope it's not a problem that i'm not 21, since it's a 21 and over event. but i'm working and not partying, so whatever. yeah. life. i go home in ten days. weird, but i'm really really ready to go. not for any particular reason other than i miss people a whole lot and i want to wake up everyday for a month and not have to worry about homework.

five things i hate about winter.

2008-12-07T18:15:00.000-08:00

1. it was 19 degrees today.

2. i can't feel my face when i go outside.

3. it's already dark at five pm.

4. snow and cars and me don't mix.

5. i feel like i've mentioned this before, but no good shows happen.

the end of the semester marks the beginning of winter. i haven't documented things in here for a while. i got a real journal and i'm starting to write in that more often, which is still good. anyway, the end of the semester also marks the beginning of pandemonium. this week i have the following papers due: 4 pages on persepolis, 10 pages on beowulf, 5 pages on the israel/palestine conflict, 3 pages on thomas aquinas. and then i start the actual studying.. tomorrow night i'm shooting a holiday party for "women in music". i feel really legit about this. it's at some fancy place and there will be fancy people there and i'll probably feel out of place. on thursday, cynthia and taylor and coming in for the night!! i am really excited about this. OH! i also spent friday night at the RUT with sarah and it was insane, insane, insane. like my life lately. i don't know if winter break is going to slow anything down. OH! i had a giant party at my house and my room got trashed but it's quite alright now. anything else that comes to mind? not really. my new years resolution, by the way, will be the same as last: more letters, more art, more writing, live better. i'm getting ahead of myself thinking about new years. i'm going to write something right now and then read things about baghdad/middle eastern things and then write about ancient christian shit and then sleep and wake up and do things with my life.

but winter can be really pretty and sometimes romantic but always pretty.

five realities.

2008-11-05T06:43:00.000-08:00

1. i'm losing money at the speed of light.

2. i'm a terrible college student.

3. my car is completely ruined and has no collision insurance.

4. we have a new president! finally! :)

5. i'm going to start trying harder.

nyu has obviously always been my dream school. now that i'm here, i feel like i'm living that dream (duh). except i've been thinking in real terms lately and it might be better if i go somewhere else that won't leave me and my parents $200,000 in debt. it's scary to think about. yes, barack obama wants to change the country and make college affordable for everyone. that's great. the reality is this won't happen. he will not help me pay for college or make it more affordable or just start handing people money. i'm very sick of amanda lorber (from MTV's the paper) because her of her recent facebook status (ooh, technology). it says: "rebuild, rebuild, rebuild! thank you america!" and previously: "can't wait for president obama to start helping america put itself back together again" and my favorite: "doesn't mind if all the white supremacist, 'values' voting, pig-headed reds hightail it to canada". i could go on forever about that last one.. but here's the deal: am i glad that we finally elected a black president? fuck yes. it says so much about our country. however, people can't expect him (they couldn't expect ANYONE) to just jump into the whitehouse and solve all of our problems. it takes time. it takes money. there is so much potential for obama because of the dipshit we've had running this for the last four years.. but he can't save the world. we can't start saving the world until we're all willing to work together to benefit all parties. we can't start saving the country if amanda lorber is going to call republicans "pig-headed" and "white supremacist". ugh.

but enough about politics, because i'm very apathetic to all of it. whatever happens, happens. long story short: i've been thinking about going to the new school because i could probably get more money there and take more classes that i want and feel like i'm getting a real education instead of reading the same books i read sophomore year of high school. i don't know. it depends on whether or not i get a JOB soon. i have to call virgin megastore today and start working there like 30 hours a week. i would. and then at fye this winter i would like to work a lot. atleast 15 hours a week. ugh.. money. why do you have to suck so badly?

but enough about depressing things! HALLOWEEN WAS SO GREAT HERE. THE ELECTION WAS EVEN BETTER. out until 3AM on a school night rioting. oh goodness, i never want to leave.

five songs that are good to hear when i'm angry.

2008-10-28T18:36:00.001-07:00

1. the press corpse - anti flag

2. lax - big d and the kids table

3. pretty girls - against me!

4. psycho killer - talking heads

5. why don't you get a job - the offspring

i've been pretty angry lately because people have been quite bitchy. i miss my friends from home because no one cares and no one is a bitch and etc etc. i miss hanging out in my backyard or in parking lots or at the beach. i love new york city, but i miss having my best friends around (besides dann/he's still great). i want people to come visit me like every weekend. these next three weekends will be amazing. next weekend i'm going to DC to have fun at american university. megan is leaving, sarah may be leaving. i'll be staying with either sarah or jess and i'm excited for a night out in a different city with different people. the weekend after will be amazing. PHILLY. thursday night i'm staying with katy, friday night i'll be at SJU with katie/rachel, saturday night at matt/dale/[all the other people that live there]'s with CAIT. the weekend after that is thanksgiving break.. so hopefully someone will have a huge get-together. i may have to start planning that right now. yeah, so i have an essay to write and four copies of it to print by 8am tomorrow. fuck my life.

five reasons cmj is already awesome (and it's only day 1).

2008-10-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

1. cluck klosterman and rob sheffield and dan kennedy reading last night.

2. getting to meet a lot of attractive bands to give them artist badges.

3. free stuff.

4. free $250 badge.

5. free shows!

except i've dedicated tonight (first night of cmj shows) to studying. how lame am i? but it's the only day i've got before my two midterms on thursday. sigh. i can't believe it's already 9:33 at night? i have a long, long day ahead of me tomorrow so i might actually go to bed early in order to wake up at 7am and go to class at 8am and do panels from 11am-6pm and possibly go to:

- margot and the nuclear so-and-so's at the bowery ballroom at 12:15am

- mirah at highline ballroom at 10pm

- COHEED AND CAMBRIA AT TERMINAL 5 AT 8. but i'll probably go over there right after my shift is over and not go to anything else. ha.

manoa, emily and i have started a "list of free and fun things to do" which will be taking up a lot of my normal useless time. some of them include: scrapbooking, selling hemp bracelets, sitting on a streetcorner one day, making a movie, scavenger hunt! yeah, so, that's all. got a letter today. it was sad but beautiful because the person i got it from is probably the strongest, most beautiful person that i know.

five awesome people that i have been or will be in close quarters with this october.

2008-10-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

1. STEPHEN COLBERT.

2. john green!

3. hank green!

4. CLUCK KLOSTERMAN.

5. ROB SHEFFIELD!

i was lucky enough to go to a taping of the colbert report and learn that stephen keeps a fucking knife in his desk. how badass. i have a new found fascination with all things that are john and hank green. unfortunately, i've only read "looking for alaska" so far, but i want to be a part of everything it means to be a "nerdfighter". john signed my book with DFTBA (don't forget to be awesome) and i don't plan on forgetting that any time soon. and of course next week i'll be in the company of CHUCK AND ROB also known as the two greatest authors that i love the most. that sentence didn't really make sense, but it's all good. an abundance of awesome people just made their way into our room to watch the office (another new obsession). thurmon brought back the book "learning to love you more" from LA and i plan on doing everything in it and blogging about it. one of my resolutions was to write in here more but right now nothing is making much sense so that might be how it goes from now on. i've forgotten a lot about this one guy who makes me not love myself, so that's where this will be going from now on.

five long weekend accomplishments.

2008-10-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

1. quality time with cait.

2. saw tom gabel half naked.

3. bought tickets to see CHUCK KLOSTERMAN AND ROB SHEFFIELD.

4. good night last night.

5. went home for less than 24 hours.

cait came at the perfect time this weekend and i was so glad to see her and get that little bit of summer back that i've been missing. but when she left it made me miss her and britt and EVERYONE so much more. i love college and all of the people i've met, but there's always that part of me that wants to go back to mid-july when i'd get off of work at midnight and drive down the shore and be on the beach until 2am and watch are you afraid of the dark? and scream really loud and talk about death metal with dale and matt. things like that.

against me! made me feel so so so fucking alive and stuff. they played "we laugh at danger and break all the rules" for their last song and everyone climbed on stage and tom put his guitar down and everyone sang. and everyone was real, real sweaty but it was nice. that chorus. god. everything about that song makes me happy.

this week is really short. only two days of class and then a really good weekend/next week. thursday night becca, connor and i are going to see john greene! friday night kelly is coming into the city and we're going to hang out and then i believe i'm going to adam's for oktoberfest II. although i'm not sure about this. i want to see a lot of the people there, but (...) i'm just not sure. i know if i go i'll be sad. saturday i'd have to come back super early for parent's day here at college. i'm excited to meet everyone else's parents and siblings. on sunday, taylor is coming in!!!! and i'm going to art museums and dinner with her! that's going to be a really fun day. much needed. much.

I NEVER THOUGHT MONDAY NIGHT WOULD BE POSSIBLE, BUT IT IS. i just bought tickets for the stories in high fidelity pre-cmj launch party!!!! which basically features chuck klosterman and rob sheffield in the SAME FUCKING PLACE AND TIME AND I'LL BE THERE AND IT'LL BE LIKE WHAT I WANT MY LIFE TO BE LIKE. if that made any sense. i'm sooo excited for CMJ, but i need to find out about the two contests i entered so i can perhaps maybe get a free pass? but regardless, i'm volunteering at CMJ all next week! i'm doing a few panels and the info desk and get to be on club duty thursday night (though i'm not sure where i'll be yet). uuuugh, college needs to end now so i can get on with the rest of my life.

some other things need to end, as well. things that, once ended, will let me get on with the rest of my life. and i'm going to start posting in this everyday. even if it doesn't really say anything.

five things i will do today.

2008-10-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

1. take the 4 train for the first time.

2. go to the met (for the millionth time).

3. work on my writing paper.

4. pick up dana at penn station!

5. not care about people who don't deserve my time.

number 5 is TBD, sort of. i have come to two conclusions: (a) new york city changes people. (b) i didn't really know people that i thought i knew. i would like to think that (a) is the correct choice here and that once upon a time certain people were kind and caring individuals. it's hard, though, to just drop someone from your life that you honestly do care about. it's easier to drop them when they start treating you like shit, but it's still hard remembering that you deserve better. maybe i'm not making all that much sense, but in my head a lot of things are becoming more clear to me. it's that fresh new york city air! i will also credit the air for making me do more art and making me take more pictures. i've done a few sets of pixxx i've been remotely proud of. i've ventured into different mediums (watercolor!!! new favorite!!!) that i've found really neat. i bought a moleskin journal and try to write in it often. and i will try to write in here more, too.

five reasons i don't update.

2008-09-16T20:23:00.001-07:00

1. college.

2. homework.

3. classes.

4. clubs.

5. new york city.

i just feel overwhelmed by love, books and this city. i am overwhelmed by love in both senses of the word. i am in love with everyone i've met so far and the things that we've done. i am in love, still, with the people i came here with. and i am in love with somebody (maybe). i'm reading so many good textbooks as part of my curriculum. "it's so cool to be enlightened." right now, for example, i'm reading the quran. sort of. mostly i'm procrastinating reading the quran by updating this blog and listening to the loved ones.

there are so many things here to get involved with.

i don't know where to begin.

i would like to be more involved with sleep, though.

for starters.

five awesome things about NYU.

2008-08-28T23:01:00.001-07:00

1. new york city.

2. my best friends/my new friends.

3. an awesome roomate.

4. the 15th floooooor!

5. hypnotists.

i love everything about here. college. you know, stuff like that. i'm not homesick, but i can't wait to start writing more letters and doing more art and maybe writing a few poems. this city lends itself to so much creativity. i haven't slept before 3am all week, but there's something comforting in my sleeplessness, because it reminds me of summer and being young. i get tired around 12:30 but get my second wind shortly after. i'm leaving here for the weekend, but i'm excited to return on monday and start my classes. i feel shitty because of something i haven't done yet (whoa, make that two things). but other than that.. life is good, also subtracting the fact that i definitely miss a lot of people from back home.

five things i just received from brianne!

2008-08-18T16:19:00.000-07:00

1. vitamin water revive ("for hangovers").

2. chocolate chip cookies, chips ("for munchies").

3. top ramen ("so you don't go hungry")!

4. red bull ("for late night studying").

5. ultra ribbed troj ("for just in case ;)").

this college emergency pack was the greatest gift ever. it's so cute. there's even a mix to go along with it! how adorable. and cynthia gave me the cutest little picture collage with a note that made me cry. this is too weird. still, i'm not as sad as i feel i should be. i'm not sure when it will all "hit" me, but when it does.. i'm glad i have a few people to fall back on at my new home. i'm actually more grateful to have brian, dann, emily and becca than any of them understand.

the picture included is from boston! tonight i'm having a really romantic evening that consists of star-gazing, new york city, ben&jerry's, dashboard confessional.

five important 'college things' i still have to do.

2008-08-13T06:43:00.001-07:00

1. buy bedding.

2. call the housing department about where i'm living.

3. buy school supplies!

4. pack up everything i own.

5. say goodbye.

and i'm going to add "buy 'time's up!'" as an honorary sixth thing to do. it's the greatest game i have ever played and i'll go out on a limb and say that about 1/3 of the time i've been awake in the last twenty four hours has been spent playing it. what else have i done?... i have been in boston and new hampshire for the last four days. that turned out to be a lot of fun and i was happy to see all of the people that i did see for one last time before i leave. i'm pretty sure i'll return next summer, but i can't be 100% sure. who knows where i'll be. i came home around 3:00 am monday morning and spent the day re-seeing 'pineapple express' (best) and shopping with cait. then tanj, julie, cait, britt, dann and brian came over and we stayed up all night (naturally). i'm going to miss them so much. yesterday was tie-dye/pants/girls night. perfect. we dyed sheets and our hair. punk rock. today i have a lot of misc. things to do before i go to cynthia's for a little party party. i can't believe i have to say goodbye to all of those people tonight. shit. tomorrow i'm hanging out with matt, dann and vanessa. i can't believe i have to say goodbye to them (minus dann), too. sarah is having a fun occasion party :) at hannah's that night and i would like to stop by there, too. i have to see how everything goes. friday i'm going to britt's to say goodbye to a lot more people. saturday me and katy are going to the city to take pictures of my new digs and stuff like that. maybe we can buy me some ray-bans. she teaches me how to be hip, luckily. otherwise i wouldn't have a clue. haha. sunday is "wafflestock" and then i'll possibly, hopefully take a ride up to john's to say farewell to him and beth.

too much, too much.

five artistic things i will do today.

2008-08-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

1. finish/work on my "live young, die fast" painting.

2. go on a photog adventure.

3. take atleast two polaroids?

4. write a poem?

5. uh, get a macbook?

today is art day. i feel like i've done nothing artistic this summer, and i only have a few more days until i move into my new home on east 10th street. i gotta have something to make it look like a real new york apartment, right? things have been pretty relaxed lately. i spent a good portion of last week at the beach and played flip cup and thumper with my cousin and his friends. then we went to the beach and got chased around by the police at 2am. i no longer have a job. i'm not too worried about it anymore, because i need some time to myself the next few weeks. i want to see everyone before we all leave. not to mention i haven't done ANYTHING for school, so i might need to get on that. on thursday i leave for NEW ENGLAND and i'm so excited. thursday/friday i'm in boston and then new hampshire until monday. sometime next week we're throwing a hotel party. yeah, yeah, yeah. i feel like i've definitely lost touch with one of my best friends (annie) and that she pretty much hates me now. not sure why, since she was the one who caused the problems in the first place. it's a shame that she probably doesn't even want to see me before we leave for college. i have found a really great group of people that i've been seeing tons of lately, which makes me happy. next weekend i'm going to the prom house again (g street, holla), so hopefully i can stay an extra night and invite the whole crew down there. just to see everyone one last time before winter break (which, might i add, i'm allowed to stay in my dorm for.. so who knows if i'll be home the whole time. why would i not want to stay in ny?).

five things that have happened to the poor saturn in the last week.

2008-07-25T09:19:00.001-07:00

1. starter: fail.

2. battery: dead.

3. brake pads: gone.

4. tires: bald (ha).

5. check engine light: on again.

my poor car. so much bad luck lately. but the weather is really wonderful. you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life. OH, the facts of life! i think since i'm car-less right now i'm going to clean my room (long overdue) and go on a bike ride with danny. later on is the balloon festival! and chrisfest! and stuff. tomorrow i have to work (ruining my life since june 2008) from FOUR to MIDNIGHT, but luckily i'll be heading to bk's after for some fun. sunday i'll be seeing BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. everything is. i would say everything is bad (work, car, court, mom's broken wrist) but everything is also good (weather, friends, macbooks). everything is canceling out. so everything just is. i can't complain.

five cool things about being eighteen.

2008-07-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

1. strip clubs.

2. tobacco.

3. porn.

4. voting, i guess.

5. tattoos.

even though none of these things really apply to me or my hobbies at all, it's good to know what my options are. i've been contemplating starting a video blog in conjunction with this, but first i'll have to get my macbook. this birthday (technically yesterday, the 16th) was a very adventurous and exciting one. i saw a lot of extremely attractive men and spent the day waltzing around philadelphia with caity poo. i've finally uploaded some pictures from the last few months, so i guess i'll share them and explain what the haps are. of course i can't edit any of them because my computer doesn't have enough memory to open up the program or something. i also have no memory to upload any of the awesome cds i just got. oh yeah, hot water music + the loved ones + the fashion + american fucking steel! + alkaline trio were all awesome these last few days.

i went to florida and it was pretty beautiful.

i've been to philly like the last three our of four days of my life.

i have done so much ghost hunting, shit.

i just thought this was cute. her nose got cut off, but whatever.

five lyrics i absolutely love from the new trio album.

2008-07-14T21:53:00.000-07:00

1. i've shown you just how weak my knees can get, so don't let go.

2. i'm diving in, don't follow me, i'll be back for you someday.

3. i wish you'd just stop showing off for the rest of us that no one wants to love.

4. cause i might break and i might bend, your heartstrings out of tune again.

5. we thought you might've swam out to sea, you gotta stop sneaking off on me.

lately i've come down with the cait disease and i feel like everyone hates me. well, not everyone. more like two people. yeah, that's all. and they probably don't, but i don't know. i don't anything about people. i just know that i usually like all of them. yeah, anyway.. i closed tonight and when i finished up (at midnight, wtf) i had something really nice from someone really nice waiting for me. basically, it just confused me. haha. but it was nice feeling nice after having to feel like iced mocha shit for five hours. the reason i'm feeling so weird is because i really love listening to the alkaline trio album. some of the tracks are just like "fuck! i want somebody to love!" ahaha. there are so many good things on tele tonight (soul plane, next), but i'm going to bed. big night in philly tomorrow.

five things i've recently received in the mail!

2008-06-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

1. letter from dann :)

2. report card :(

3. graduation card from miss kelly :)

4. nyu stuff :)

5. graduation card from beanie :)

i like mail, and that's why i'm sending everyone postcards from florida.. where i'm going in about 14ish hours. we leave from philly at 7am and then i'm faced with absolutely no worries/troubles/work for the next seven days. i'm incredibly excited for this peninsula adventure. the only thing i have to really do is write my article (deadline=the day after i get home), but i've been coaching myself to enjoy writing. maybe i'll even write a few poems or stories when i'm down there. i'm certainly going to take a lot of pictures and listen to all of my new music. i actually have quite a few things to do tonight before i go.. a) shopping b) packing! remembering everything! c) uploading alllllll of my new music d) updating my iPod. e) return things to the library. f) upload all of my camera pictures and then delete them so i have maximum room. i'm mostly worried about packing because i need to remember things like my cameras, notebooks, pens, clothes, sunglasses, towels!, reading materials.

i've crossed a few things off of my summer to-do list, and hope to do some more in the upcoming week while i'm out of state. brian lent me "jay and silent bob strike back" and i'm pretty sure kelly is bringing her portable dvd player. OH! i watched a fantastic movie called "wristcutters" the other day and lent it to my dad (because tom waits is in it, duh) and he also loved it. i'm also bringing "the punk rock book of lists" and "rant" because it's light/fun reading as opposed to things like "prozac nation" and "the rum diary". yeah, that's my reasoning.

let me now write about an adventure that happened to myself, cait, britt, jeff, brian, danny and mike motza yesterday. so we were innocently on our way to go see LESS THAN JAKE and GOLDFINGER in my mother's mini-van (which i borrowed to fit everyone). then, on 287 south near route 1 (in the middle lane, no less).. the check engine light came on.. followed by every other light in the car.. followed by the loss of the brakes and the loss of the gas.. followed by white smoke pouring in from the vents.. followed by the engine smoking.. basically, the engine seized and now the car is pretty useless. we then stood on the side of 287 for a long time until we were rescued. oh, what a night. then we all just came back here, cried about not going to the show and swam and hookah'd. but atleast we're still alive.

be back in seven days, blog.

five things i got at the library today.

2008-06-26T11:44:00.001-07:00

1. jenny lewis and the watson twins - rabbit fur coat

2. flight of the conchords season 1

3. sleater kinney - all hands on the bad one

4. notes on a scandal

5. common - finding forever

plus a lot of others. the library may be my new favorite place in the world, next to time to eat. the only reason i say that is because cait, britt, jill and i went there last night and a lot of strange things happened and we laughed a lot a lot and it was pretty entertaining. much like the library was today when danny and i went. we got so many things and i can keep them for a whole week and even renew them online! wow! i got a letter from dann in the mail and i'm very excited to read it. i'm also excited to watch "wristcutters: a love story" tonight (thx, library) with annie and gracie and to go night swimming. i'm excited to work at noble tomorrow and walk out of fye for the last time tonight. i'm excited to go ghost-hunting tomorrow night and have a sleepover at sarah's house for the first time. saturday i'm excited to see LESS THAN JAKE and GOLDFINGER. sunday i'm excited to leave for key west and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but read and listen to music and go in the ocean and party and sleep for AN ENTIRE WEEK. maybe knock some things off the to-do list while i'm down there.

five songs that alkaline trio played on friday that made me incredibly happy.

2008-06-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

1. GOODBYE FOREVER.

2. old school reasons.

3. she took him to the lake.

4. i lied my face off.

5. armageddon.

now that i've heard goodbye forever, i'm pretty sure i can leave the world a lot happier. the show on friday was a lot of fun for being in the back of the crowd (something i've never really done, but i was so tired that i think if i had been near the front i would have passed out). tonight we're (cait,jeff,mike,brian) going to the free show at monmouth mall. tomorrow at eleven i'm going to start learning the art of overpriced coffee making.

five things i'll miss about high school.

2008-06-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

1. real good friends.

2. not having to worry.

3. b.s. classes.

4. living near everyone.

5. the IMC.

so, yesterday i graduated and i still don't feel any different. weird that i'll never see some of these people again in my life? sure. but this summer i'll see who i want to see and we'll do things i feel we should do. i still have to write down my summer to-do list, but i haven't had any extra minutes. wednesday night some people came over and we enjoyed our first night of summer (except it was an early night, considering someone planned graduation at 8:30am). yesterday i graduated, went out to lunch, went to the MALL and came home and slept. then at 9:15 we left for philly.. got back this morning at 6:30. it was fun! i liked taking pictures of people. i came home and slept again. i just woke up.. need to shower and then we're off to see alkaline trio! holy shit! tomorrow is cayce's party, sunday is alkaline trio, monday is work/cynthia's party, tuesday is alkaline trio, wednesday is alkaline trio, thursday is work, friday/saturday is work until seven. i need to start my to-do list.. so those two nights will probably consist of adventuring and to-do-ing. sunday i leave for key west or something for like a week. i don't actually know what's happening with that, but i'm pretty sure i got a plane ticket today. hahah. adventure.

five sentences that prove henry rollins is a genius.

2008-06-11T18:48:00.000-07:00

1. "i don't read books because anyone who writes them must be oppressive and insecure."

2. "now, i only want to be near you and give you everything."

3. "nothing we do will ever be understood, rather feared and kept well away from."

4. "i'm moving pretty fast these days, but i still think of you."

5. "i expect nothing from everyone, so i am rarely ever let down."

i would like to write like henry rollins one day. and speak like him, too. i would like to have life experiences like he has to give me something to write about. i could write about how amazing prom weekend was, and how close i became with some friends and how distant i became with others, but i think that this picture of cynthia passed out on the hardwood speaks more volumes than even henry rollins could write.

five reasons i'm awake right now (11:51 pm).

2008-06-04T20:50:00.001-07:00

1. hanging out with knockout theory/interview until 4:30.

2. awkward dinner with belsky until 9:15.

3. rummaging through jess' house until 9:40.

4. physics problem set until 10:30.

5. packing for prom weekend until 11:51.

everything for this entire weekend has to be ready by the time i wake up for school tomorrow. every time i think i'm done, i think of something else that has to go. and then, of course, i have to think about what i need to keep at my house for the next day and a half. hopefully everything works out. prom preparations are almost complete. PS: DARK KNIGHT COASTER AT GREAT ADVENTURE IS OPEN. i had to write that down while the commercial was on. anyway, a few of us are going to the beach after school tomorrow. i'm going to wear the same pair of shorts two days in a row to school, so i hope no one notices. not that it matters, because they're only gym shorts. whatever, i dressed like a dude everyday this week because this week has been horrible (stress wise) and my hair has looked like shit 24/7. you know what a weird feeling is? wanting to tell someone something, but not being able to because it could either: make the rest of your relationship with this someone incredibly awkward or make it incredibly amazing. not being able to because i'm frankly quite afraid. other things: new weezer album is awesome! and barnes and noble called me up for an interview today! hell yeah!

five headlines i read just now.

2008-06-01T16:17:00.000-07:00

1. "bruce springsteen, mastodon"

2. "hanging out with condoleeza rice, still extremely rich"

3. "r. kelly trial: video not fake, kelly's mole visible"

4. "cool v. uncool guide to dancing men" (so good)

5. "built to spill to tour u.s. in the fall"

i like news. i'm incredibly tired right now and should REALLY and truly do my physics homework but i'd rather sit outside by my pool and read gossip magazines. i have to upload a lot of pictures and type up prom stuff tonight, too. i probably won't do my physics homework. so my party last night i made a playlist called "first night of (unofficial) summer" because i don't care about school anymore! so this weekend was awesome. friday after school we had a prom meeting at panera/borders and prom weekend is going to be amazing. yep. after the meeting cait, lindsay, britt and i went to the belmar house. the ride down was awesome and we just blasted good tunes and yelled out of the windows. when we got down there we went to the beach until like 7:30. climbed on the jetties, linds and britt SWAM. crazy. then we went into the town square to watch an irish band. we danced. after working up an appetite dancing, we headed to surf taco. after surf taco we walked home, BOOZE CRUISE, went for ice cream, screamed things at the police officers.. went back to the house around 11 and played some board games and painted. then we watched "are you afraid of the dark?" and screamed like babies. but it was great. we woke up early that morning, went back to my house/garage sale-d, lindsay's car died in front of my house. :( i had to go to work. then i went to the knockout theory/waffle stompers/crash romeo show! but crash romeo sucked because they didn't even have the fucking courtesy to stick around and watch knockout theory. i felt it was really uncalled for. anyway.. after the show we had a party of my house. a lot of awesome people showed up and we had a really chill time. the last people left around 5:30 this morning, so it truly was an all-nighter. quite great, though, and i loved everyone who was there.

five reasons i should be hired by starbucks.

2008-05-28T19:28:00.000-07:00

1. i need to get out of FYE.

2. i know how to make a carmel frappucino (thx, kim smith).

3. i enjoy the compilation cds they make (second wave? awesome).

4. one of the guys working there said i look "fun". (coffee, too, is fun)

5. free coffee.

i applied there yesterday and went back today. i also applied for a job at oakley (for obvious reasons..), but i'm really hoping i get the starbucks job. jeez, me and corporate america are like bffl, aren't we? but honestly, i think that i need to be somewhere that people actually go to and buy things. i need to be somewhere with a tip jar and more than two people working at a time. i need to be somewhere i don't have to wear GRAY. the upside to working at oakley would be that i go into it knowing four people who already work there and actually enjoying the company of those four. but i want to meet new people! i want to drink (er, serve) coffee and pretend to be cooler than i actually am. what else did i do today? all of my shopping for prom is basically done, which is a relief. tomorrow i have to do more shopping, though, for the remainder of the prom items, new running shoes, and party supplies for saturday night. i also have to put together a playlist for the party, clean my room, clean my car, clean my house, pack up for the overnight belmar trip, upload the photos on my camera, download music and generally get my life organized. all of this while somehow meeting kelly at 6PM. i was going to pull a late night tonight, but now i'm too tired. shopping makes me tired and cranky and i'm glad i have the next seven hours to sleep.

five reasons everyone should see the flaming lips.

2008-05-26T17:32:00.000-07:00

1. sing-along versions of 'yoshimi'.

2. balloons, confetti, strobe lights.

3. nude people dancing on stage.

4. WAYNE COYNE.

5. they cover led zep.

now, i may say this about a lot of show but right now i'm being super serious. the flaming lips put on the best live show i've ever seen. jam on the river saturday night was an extraordinary experience that i'm glad to have shared with anna, ro and vic. it was absolutely ridiculous. philly, especially on the waterfront, especially on the fourth floor of the dave & busters parking garage, especially when livin' on a prayer is playing in the background, especially at midnight, is breathtaking. i enjoyed every second of this weekend. from allentown and the clinton diner to seaside park to philadelphia to 2am quickchek runs to the cheesecake factory to bryan's house today.. everything was awesome. i got a really good tan because i was outside for 98% of the last four days. to add on to all of the good things happening: i got an e-mail about a job offering at crossings magazine. and i have a minimal amount of journalism homework and ONE review to write and then i'm off to shower and get some well deserved sleep. this upcoming week is going to be a bit hectic, but i'll survive.

five things memorial day weekend will bring, day-by-day.

2008-05-21T13:31:00.000-07:00

1. chipotle/allentown show/clinton diner/sleepover.

2. great adventure!/the beach.

3. festival in philly: the flaming lips!

4. bryan's bbq

5. work!

so, the fifth day isn't that exciting as is, but hopefully after work i'll at least go to a movie or something. weekend forecast (note:nottheweather) looks pretty darn good. may has flown by and june is right around the corner. this means: prom and graduation. i can't believe how quickly things are happening. on a side note, right now i'm watching my super sweet sixteen and waiting for my hair to dry. this girl on the show has just handed out her invitations and the next thing she said was: "now the pressure's on to find a venue." i would really like to know what she wrote on the invitation if she didn't even know where the party was going to be. tonight=pheasants landing with everyone! i'm excited/anxious/sad all at the same time. many pictures will be taken.

five playlists i keep playing.

2008-05-14T12:47:00.000-07:00

1. "on the go 3" (all alkaline trio songs!)

2. "goodbye, goodbye"

3. "march madness"

4. "when it pains, it roars"

5. "i can't believe i forgot HWM"

really though, i can't bring myself to listen to actual albums anymore. it's all about playlists. it's like i'm afraid to branch out to normal shuffle on my iPod. it's like i need to hear songs that i already know i picked out. most of my playlists do flow really nicely, though, so it's nice to hear things that go together. like mondays and new releases or thursdays and shopping. i always end up going shopping with kelly on thursday nights (as long as i'm not working). tomorrow i'm going to get my hair cut and colored first. then we're off to the mall for some chipotle probably, then some old navy to use some coupons. some some some. weird word if you say it enough times in a row. i'm working for the third night in a row. that's weird, too.

i also must give a shout out to a special friend of mine, mrs. dj. :) hello! and thank you again for the kind words. <3

five things i needa do.

2008-05-07T19:52:00.001-07:00

1. scholarship essay.

2. last two weeks worth of journalism work.

3. physics homework!

4. get tickets for less than jake.

5. plan the trip to the bronx.

the bronx trip shouldn't be that bad. jennifer lopez is from there, so really, how terrible can it be? i'm excited to travel. that's all. this week has gone by so fast.. or so it seems. it's already thursday tomorrow and it rarely counts because i have AP testing all morning (fack). friday night looks like caberet and the beach.. saturday looks like the beach and free bbq/show. sunday looks like mothers day! and it always looks like rain. matt lax comes home in a few days and i'm hoping he's finally "ready" to sleep over my house, because we have a years worth of catching up to do. also: the weather was beautiful today AND i'm looking for a new bicycle and a nice place to ride it. uhhh, my big redneck wedding is on right now (a gem that i accidentally discovered one night). time to watch it and sleep some!

five places i'll see alkaline trio this summer.

2008-05-06T19:46:00.001-07:00

1. new york city.

2. philadelphia.

3. lancaster!

4. allentown.

5. freehold.

there are a few more, i believe. but really, this summer is just all about alkaline trio and roadtrips. alkaline adventures! my favorite alliteration. brandon also informed me of a HOT WATER MUSIC SHOW IN PHILLY! one day before alkaline trio in new yawk. i can't wait. the first show i've got (aside from crash romeo/knockout theory) coming up is tiger army on may 17th. it should be really good, considering i've never really been to a 'rockabilly' show. i'm pretty sure that's what tiger army is considered these days. it's currently 10:49 and i'm about to clean whatever is under my bed. i would like to go to bed, but i still have a lot to do on today's to-do list. and i keep looking at my cds and i keep getting frustrated about how messy they all look. i got a few new ones (signed copy of dan potthast's 'eat the planet'!!) and they have NO PLACE TO GO. i hate that feeling. i want my life to be organized right now and it's just not. today was supposed to be my 'get everything done!' day, but i went out for a little while. i'll try again tomorrow, but i'm going to see harold and kumar instead. and i have a meeting after school which i need to organize myself for right now. this weekend, though, should be pretty nice. belmar for the weekend, again! last weekend i went down with cait, lindsay, britt and met two new awesome people, matt and dale. it was pretty righteous. but this beach weekend is going to be hectic.. last weekend at the house, which means cleaning and moving and prepping. saturday night rio and i will be in attendance of a free bbq and crash romeo musical production. life in general rools, except for the fact that i need to get mah shit togetha.

five places i will travel to this summer.

2008-04-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

1. [sour home] chicago.

2. boston.

3. sonic!

4. new hampshire.

5. new york.

i want to follow someone around the country. (alkaline trio?) i want to do something this summer. right now i want to: complete housing forms, mail things, do my homework, do alright in physics. i want to like my new boss who starts on tuesday, but i doubt that's going to happen. i'll forever miss any and all previous bosses. i want to keep in touch with them. i want to get my ears pierced and hair dyed and go to college looking like i'm about to start something new. college. kaufman completed her housing forms and it's looking like it's going to be me, her and someone new. i'm so excited. to not go at it alone. i'll have so many people that i really, really care about there with me. i feel like i'm going to be living the song "olympia, wa" that was on that rancid/nofx split.

five recent mixes.

2008-04-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

1. goodbye, goodbye.

2. so you want to be a lion?

3. can you dig it!

4. i can't believe i forgot HWM.

5. front porch songs.

i have given up on all capital letters. it's not me and it never was, so who was i trying to fool? ha. i'm annoying at the fact that i keep putting off my physics problem set (and it's the only class i get homework in). well, i'm not really annoyed at this, but rather annoying that i'm losing sleep over it. i just really like my teacher and would hate for him to think badly of me. he's the only teacher that i have right now that i can say that about. but for the last few nights it's been incomplete, i've been staying up really late and just thinking about it. the only reason i'm not doing it is because i really don't know how to. somehow, i got a B on the midterm. happy times.. this week has been really beautiful and i've been spending it out all day and night.. which makes me really tired. yet i don't sleep! the great paradox of our time, i guess. today i wrote a poem for the reading tomorrow. i would post it, but someone that can't read it may read it and think bad things are happening when they really aren't (but sometimes i wish they could!). sometimes i pride myself on making so much sense that my words are often non-sensical. after the reading, it's going to be like 75 degrees! most likely i'll skip my elan meeting (er, postpone it) to hang out with kelisi and jyo.. then i have to waste my beautiful night at FYE. boo. it wouldn't be so bad (or bad at all) if i didn't have to wear that damn uniform. seriously. tonight i also finished my painting for jb and completed a mix for belsky. awesome.. but i still haven't done my physics homework. i also have to send letters out to: dann, matt, ingo. on saturday, after i make the trip up to trader joe's to get stuff to send to all those boys (minus ingo.. he only gets a cd). final thoughts: tonight kelly and i saw prom night and we were the only ones in the theatre. scary shit! she also got a haircut, which motivated me to make an appointment.

Five Best Driving Driving In The Rain At Night Songs

2008-04-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

1. 'You Don't Know Me', Michael Buble

2. 'Lua', Bright Eyes

3. 'Sorry About That', Alkaline Trio

4. 'Incident on 57th Street', Bruce Springsteen

5. 'Hold On', Tom Waits

It's currently monsooning outside and I wish I were at the Alesi house on their porch, but I'm happy to be home. I didn't go home after school today. I had dress clothes in my weekend bag. I find myself packing 'weekend bags' because I'm usually hopping around all weekend. But anyway, from my after school errands, I picked up Danny and we drove to Bryan's. We spent the majority of the time and the majority of my gas tank cruising around downtown Washington listening to death metal and Slayer. Yep. At one stop light, this car full of meathead boys were like "YO, COME FOLLOW USSSS." So I did for about a block, then we all went back to Bryan's and jammed in his basement. Well, I watched. I did play the drums for three seconds, though. After Bryan's I hung out at Annie's for a little bit. Zach had left already, so we just chilled. It was good, except I was still in dressy clothes. Boo.

I drove home in the RAIN and it was awesome, except my windshield wipers are sort of effed up. I came home and there were strange cars in my driveway. Dennis had some of his friends over and none of them were gone.. Usually when they come over they're gone by ten because they're old men who go to sleep at eleven. So them being there at midnight was weird. But anyway, there were in my basement and it was uncomfortable. I was introduced and disappeared into my sleeping quarters, which are still in the basement so I could hear them talking and stuff.

Today was Chen's birthday and I made some sweet cupcakes with 'Happy Birthday' written on them in Chinese. That was the highlight of the day, I think. From what I can recall. I'm in sort of a sleepy akljsdlsakj right now. I'm going to two parties tomorrow, a show on Sunday and then I have finals Monday and Tuesday and then the fourth quarter will start and I'll graduate.

Cool. Oh, also, I feel like a jerk. And I meant to say that Coyote Ugly is truly one of the lamest movies I've ever seen. Ever.

Five Reasons For Lack Of Updates.

2008-04-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

1. Good weather! Adventures every day.

2. Trying not to fail these final few classes.

3. The Lit Mag must be done for printing by the 18th.

4. Memorizing the new CR album.

5. Tons of new music, in general.

This week I spent too much money on music. I bought things like: The Gaslight Anthem, Slapstick, Minor Threat, Black Flag, The Adolescents, some AM! vinyl, Whole Wheat Bread, Lemonheads and I finally completed the Face to Face discography. Sweet. Life has been exciting and full of wonderful weather. I'm mentally done with all things school. I'm going out in a few minutes and not coming home until after dark. Nice. Tomorrow I'm sleeping at the Belmar house, followed by working Saturday until 9:30, then a good party at JM's house which includes foozball and fondue. Today during Elan I learned that Scotty B., aside from wanting to grow up and be a book, had a labret piercing and peroxide blonde hair that was later dyed blue.

Crazy.

Five Things I've Done On Break So Far

2008-03-24T10:38:00.000-07:00

1. Pillow fight.

2. "That baby sounded like it was dying on that greyhound bus."

3. Finally saw Harold & Kumar.

4. Dance party party at Fee's.

5. Left my purse at said party.

But Cynthia is dropping it off for me on her way to Kara's. Life saver. Things have been really fun so far, and they're only going to get better. I would go into detail, but today is a very busy day. I have to work later. Kelly was having a party, but now her parents are coming home. Whoops. Haha. I'll be able to finally sleep in my bed, something I haven't done since Thursday (?) night.

Five Things I Bought In My Dream Last Night

2008-03-18T18:04:00.000-07:00

1. A new (no, like really new) Chuck Ragan alb?

2. Yellow Misfits vinyl?

3. Front row Bruce Springsteen tickets?

4. Ray Bans?

5. A party bus?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN. Maybe I bought all of this because I got my bank statement today and realized I need to stop spending money. Oh boy. At this rate, I'll have the same amount of money for the rest of my life. The amount I deposited was three dollars more than the amount I withdrew. Ha. Except, I did get my tax returns back today. Awesome, awesome. Spring break is going to suck the money right out of me, though. Phewwww, not good. It's 9:09.. I have one more paragraph (well, half) to go on my paper and for some reason I just can't do it. I've been sitting here for thirty minutes and I'm just like: "blaaaaaaaah, I don't like this book, this topic, this paper". But this has been really easy. I wasn't even stressed that I had to do this Literary Critical Analysis essay in one night. I got home at 4, worked on it for two hours, went to Franks for dinn-ur, came back and worked one more hour. Three hours.. six pages.. Now I'm bored and I still don't like Shakespeare or this topic or english class. I still have to read the Metamorphisis (suck it, Kafka. Seriously) and study a bunch for Eurrrrrrro. Lame. Wednesday tomorrow. I have to work. I'm buying Danny that edition of Dookie that's out of print. The one with Ernie on the back of it. And I'm buying an Elvis CD because all of the sudden I love him. Also.. I can't find my 'I Lied My Face Off' EP? Like, the one Mike Park sent me a little while ago because he found more in his garage? What the hell. It's bothering me. I will not rest until it is gefunden. In the immortal words of Anti-Flag: "Fuck the world, fuck 'em all!" I don't know.. maybe I'll go see Anti-Flag. I think they're touring. Lord knows no one else is.. Right now my life consists of waiting for that damn Alkaline Trio tour to happen already.

Later: I finish my paper at 10:33 after an hour of just sitting in my room and listening to Superchunk. Whoops. I should have atleast taken a shower or something. I just want these next two days to be over and spring break to begin. I hope I don't have to work at all, because I have numerous plans every single day and work would just be a drag. The only days I'm willing to work are my usual Monday nights and Wednesday morning into the evening and pppossibly on Saturday before the Curmudgeon show? But not really, because I want to go into the city and look at residence halls. OK, okay, that's all.

Five Best Songs On Goddamnit!

2008-03-14T20:29:00.001-07:00

1. As You Were

2. Cop

3. Clavicle

4. Message From Kathlene

5. Sorry About That

I love this album so much. All of it. I just want an excuse to write about how sad I am that I still haven't found the CD/DVD anywhere. The woman at Hot Topic in Woodbridge Mall was being a bit of a bitch to me after I asked. "You know, it's not a new album. It's actuallyyyyy a reissue of something they put out about ten years ago.." Bitch, please. Why assume I don't know that? I'm fairly certain I probably definitely know more about Alkaline Trio than you ever could. Just because my makeup doesn't look like I drew on my face with a giant Crayola marker, just because I don't kill the ozone trying to get my hair into that perfect tri-hawk, just because I don't have tattoos of shit that I will later regret, just because I don't work at HOT TOPIC.. does not make me less inclined to know about Alkaline Trio. Why be so rude?

Five Things I Should Be Doing Right Now

2008-03-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

1. "Colonialism In The Tempest: A Shitty Lit Analysis"

2. "What is Existentialism?: A Shitty Answer"

3. Reading The Stranger and responding to it.

4. PHYSICS.

5. Cleaning.

I think I say this everyday, but.. I'm a terrible student who never does anything. What the hell. Today I hung around school for a bit with Grace after my hour meeting with Scotty. For being a teacher, sometimes he's pretty mean (?). Most of it is just sarcasm, I hope, but I'm not used to it coming from teachers. Like when he told me I was eternally damned, or when he told me to use the tape to tape my mouth shut, or when he told me he didn't hate me.. he loathed me. But basically, I'm not doing any of that homework he assigned because I'm going to the MET tomorrow! New York City, center of the universe! So instead of doing homework, I'm taking and uploading some photos (like the one above). I'm starting to burn those mixes. I'm painting a picture, I'm writing a poem. I'm feeling a little sick after the food I just had with Danny. We went to this new "southwestern" place in Branchburg. Yeah, gross. He seemed to like it. On the way back, we listened to They Shoot Horses, Don't They? and it was fun. We took TWO polaroids while driving. Dangerous. But that's how I like to live. Hahahahaha. I'm going to take good polaroids when I hang out with Matt tomorrow. Or atleast try to. He is too wonderful to be so far away from me all of the time, seriously.

Also.. I'm semi-seriously debating going to Bamboozle even though it's really lame and too much money and the bands will probably play for fifteen minutes, but..

Sunday, May 4th's Line-Up:
Anti-Flag
Finch
Less Than Jake
The Bouncing Souls
The Starting Line

Five Things On My Desk

2008-03-11T14:05:00.000-07:00

1. Descendents' "Everything Sucks"

2. Crash Romeo guitar pick.

3. Razor?

4. Cigar box?

5. A sign that says "Social Expert".

Strange how strange things all find a strage way to all go to the same strange place. Today was a very good day because Jyo, Becca and Brian all got into NYU and Brian will probbbbbbbbably be going there next year. I'm on a mission to convince the other two. Today was beautiful so me and Danny took a joyride, listened to Streetlight and played some basketball. Right now I'm waiting for Alf to get here to go out again, even though I have RIDIC amounts of homework to do tonight (Euro project due tomorrow, English paper due Thursday.. when does 4th quarter start?) plus finish the spring mixes but make a cover for them (+ get copies of this) plus write a poem plus paint a birthday present plus a bunch of other shit. Oh yeah, I also don't have a car right now. But atleast I'll be in New York City on Thursday and this weekend isn't too eventful so I can getterdone. Last night, EVERYONE came to the store. Katy, Alejandro, Albert, Steven.. It was crazy, but made the 7 hours I was there a little less painful. The next thing I write will not be at random or so random. I swear.

But what I really wanted to say was my Alkaline Trio Goddamnit Redux limited edition black splatter vinyl is THE SWEETEST THING EVER CREATED. I think I enjoy it more than the HWM/Alk3 picture disc, but I'm not sure because that vinyl is pretty damn cool. Spin spin spin spin. God, I could just look at records forever. I really need to go through all of them soon and see what I need to get holders for. I feel bad that I just keep most of the Trio ones lined up on my wall. Me and Alexander are about to start watching Family Guy: Blue Harvest because I could care less about homework at this point in my day. But first... The greatest thing to ever have come in the mail. Also, there's a cop driving up and down my (dead end) road with a spotlight and we're about to call the 5-0 to see if we should be concerned. Also, I found out today that the name of the sexual predator on my (dead end) road has close to the same last name as Mr. D, minus the "Di".

Five Lyrics From Spring Into Spring

2008-03-08T08:41:00.000-08:00

1. Where we're coming from, YEAH, will be the death of us!

2. It's a gamble, double down or don't. Step out if you want to, stay in if you're bold.. And roll.

3. And we say goodbyeeee and go undergrouuuund, or up towards the sky, up in smoke burnt down to size. Atleast we're still friends, atleast we're still alive.

4. What has tried swapping your blood with formaldehyde? Monsters?

5. Now she's a little boy in Spain playing pianos filled with flames.

I really love this mix because it's so good to listen to with the windows down. I wish it wasn't pouring today.. I had a lot of good outdoor plans. Now my plans consist of driving Kelly somewhere, going out with Danny to a few places.. Tonight I'm taking pictures at The Break contest in Pompton Lakes. Crash Romeo will be there, soo.. naturally, I'm game. I have to make the cover for this mix so I can hand it out. I've been saying that forever. I need to get it done by next Thursday because Kara and I are exchanging some mixes at the poetry meeting. I need to write a poem. Last night was a lot of fun. I hung out with Kayla and Dana and we just did a lot of neccessary catching up. We watched Ratatouille!!! and the Skeleton Key (my God, Peter Sarsgaard is so beautiful). I had the STRANGEST dream that I started dating this guy that is friends with some of my friends (but I don't really know him, aside from pictures and whatnot, but he's cute) and then we got married and ended up living in Philadelphia. I have no idea how any of this came to be, but he had a Star Wars tattoo so that sealed the deal. I took some fun pictures today. Yeah. I'll take more later at the show, even though I don't want to drive to Pompton in such rain. But I can't really change the weather. This is why it has to be Spring. And what the hell.. I thought it was APRIL showers that bring May flowers, not MARCH downpours everyday.

Five Reasons Work Makes Me Sad

2008-03-06T19:33:00.000-08:00

1. I still make less money than everyone else. Not that I care about this, but it's worth a mention.

2. People who do nothing get more hours than me.

3. People who hate FYE get more hours than me.

4. I never see the people I want to see.

5. No one shops there.

It was really depressing parting with FYE tonight because John was like.. Soo, I guess I won't see you until next Saturday? Yeah, he won't. FYE will not see me forever. I just want someone to explain it to me. Am I not doing a good job? Two of my managers have told me that I'm a good employee, yet the third manager happens to be the one in charge of the schedule and gives me ten hours a week. That's roughly $52 a paycheck.. Gas costs me $41 a week. What really gets me upset, though, is that I've been there for 17 months and I have the least amount of hours. OKAY. I would really like to vent and say about thirty obscenities, but I won't because I really love my job. It just makes me sad sometimes. I should go see if Curmudgeon needs any help. EVEN though we have a bigger selection of CDs, I think. Obviously you can't find cheap vinyl, but we have so many used CDs. If you really had the time, you should go to FYE and shop because you can find a lot of cheap stuff and some stuff that's out of print. For instance, the other day I bought The Jesus & Mary Chain for $5. That's crazy. And I also took the Kate Nash promo because it was free (duh) and John told me it's really good. Work makes me sad because I never get to work and never get to talk about music. Tonight alone we talked about the new We Are Scientists album, this new band The Cribs, Bloc Party, Kate Nash, Oregon, Black Sabbath \m/. I just like talking about music with people who actually know shit about music. What am I getting at? I know I'm not getting Alkaline Trio from FYE next Tuesday. Fuck. Or should I say Goddamnit! (Hahahahahhaha, Alkaline Trio humor..) I ordered the limited edition vinyl but it's still not here. I can't wait to get it and watch everything and listen to everything in all of it's remastered gloryyyyyyyyy. I can't wait for a tour. If it's in the summer, I'm totally roadtripping to Boston to catch the Boston show. It's already been decided that I am in attendance of all of the New Jersey/New York/Penn shows. I blow all of my money on music. All of the extra $12 of my weekly paycheck goes to The Jesus and motherfucking Mary Chain.

Five Things I Loved About Today

2008-03-05T16:21:00.001-08:00

1. Good weather (a little windy).

2. Good pictures.

3. Good people.

4. Good adventures.

5. Good scenic routes.

My shot sucked, but that's okay because I spent the day with people I really love starting from 8:40 in the morning and it's still going. Cayce and I went on a super fun adventure today and found a nice old house/funeral home/graveyard/barn/everything in Alexandria Township. I finally went to "Bucks" and it was super cute and cuddly. It looks like a nice place to work and just hang out in general. Danny and I are about to hit up Chipotle, even though I'm still really full from the good breakfast I ate this morning and the two cookies I had at lunch. If I feel motivated enough later (chances are unlikely) I want to do a few things. I would like to complete all of my homework, I would like to make the cover for the spring mix, I would like to blow-dry my hair after I shower, I would like to pump some iron, I would like to do all of these things, but when I get back at 9pm I probably won't do any of these things. And we're off!

Five Songs On Repeat Like Crazy

2008-03-04T12:51:00.001-08:00

1. "LAX", Big D and the Kids Table

2. "Serious", Crash Romeo

3. "Point/Counterpoint", Streetlight Manifesto

4. "Rest Of My Life", Less Than Jake

5. "Overrated", Less Than Jake

"Like Crazy" is the ultimate Dr. Chow throwback. I miss him. "Like Crazy" has also been my life lately. Life has been.. liiiiiiike.. crazy. But it's alright. Thanks to whatever made me go out and buy that calendar because it's been a lifesaver. March events alone include: seven different Crash Romeo shows (stalk much?), Elan meetings forever, hanging out with people that I love, pillow fights in New York City, "Super Saturday!", Westfield on the first day of spring, Strelko shows. To name a few. I loved the weather today and it was perfect for the discussion JMo and I had about why people feel the need to clarify that the rain was "wet" when they write poetry. This is not to say that poems can never say "wet rain", but the amount of poems that say "the cold, wet rain pounded down on the city streets" are more than you would ever think. Why is the rain always cold? When is rain NOT wet? Why is it always on a city street? Because the smell of wet rain on hot asphault is enough for me to want to stay outside in the rain forever? Because it reminds you of spring and good weather? Not nice weather, because rain is not nice weather. Whether you believe it or not. But it's good. It's great weather. It beads up on your window and trickles down the driveway and you can ride your bike through the puddles. It's refreshing, like chai tea and tai chi and rhymes that aren't forced. Perhaps, perhaps, I will write my next poem about rain. On my window pane. Cold, wet, glorious rain. Like cwazy.

Five Things I Will Accomplish Today

2008-03-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

1. All of my homework, yo.

2. Deliver show flyers to Hot Topic (yes, it's true).

3. Haircut!

4. Sell back stuff to work, buy new stuff from work.

5. Rip 30 Days of Night, Hairspray, and 24 Hour Party People onto the computer. Maybe even watch one of them.

It's so nice to keep the Sabbath and not go to work. I would like to do the same thing next Sunday so I can go to the record show! And Brian's show! Shows shows shows shows shows. Hopefully I'll go to some good ones (besides the three Crash Romeo shows) over break, but I'm not sure anyone good is touring right now. I'll have to ask Rio. Speaking of anyone good.. Next weekend is going to be prime. I'm hanging out with Kayla and Daney on Friday night and I'm pumped. I haven't seen them in forever. I love seeing people I love. I also love Dashboard Confessional (yes, it's true) and I don't care! NYU is sending me my e-mail address soooon.

Five Bands That Should Still Be Together!

2008-02-28T15:44:00.001-08:00

1. Face to Face

2. Jawbreaker

3. Reggie & The Full Effect

4. Hot Water Music

5. One Man Army

Face to Face is playing Bamboozle left!! :( Actually, like a ton of good bands are playing Bamboozle Left and our Bamboozle will probably be shitty, like it almost always is. I HEARD through the grapevine that Jawbreaker is getting back together, but I'm not sure I trust the source. Don't get me started on Reggie.. Let me just say that My Chemical Romance was a fine band the way it was and the line-up should not have changed and James Dewees should still be with Regg. I feel like Hot Water Music never broke up, but they should atleast record a new album.. They already got the tour and everything.. I'm still a bit bitter about not seeing that show. I really want to see the Larry Armsssssss stilllllll and HWM duh, of course. Duh. Alkaline Trio should tour with them! NO. Alkaline Trio needs to do a traveling festival with all of the bands I just listed + TLA. And the Falcon can play, too! Since they'll be there already. Hm. Today I got 150 copies of the Crash Romeo flyer and I think everyone should come to the show. Thursday, March 27th at FYE. Aside from that, I did a few other productive things and the only thing I still have left to accomplish is this Euro outline about the end of WWI. Hm. I took off on Sunday because of the video shoot that I can no longer go to. Now I have a whole Sunday OFF. I think I'll probably go to the beach, even though I should stay home and do all of my homework. To end this: I love Point/Counterpoint a whole lot.

Edit: As soon as I finished this and walked upstairs, Dennis asked me if I wanted to go see My Chemical Romance at the Garden on the 9th. Hahahahha. It's with Taking Back Sunday. Hmmmm, decisions.

Five Best Springsteen Songs

2008-02-26T14:02:00.000-08:00

1. Born to Run

2. Jungleland

3. Thunder Road

4. Growing Up

5. You'll Be Coming Down

I really have no idea where "Magic" is. The last thing I remember is giving it to Alexander without putting it on my computer first. That was a mistake. I hope the Boss plays these when I go see him. Uh, in other news.. I'm really over school on nights where I have better things to do. For instance, today I drove around with Katie, went to Chipotle, hung out in my driveway, went for pizza in Washington Township, saw a basketball game, played basketball and came home to heaps of homework. I'm only doing an hours worth tonight, and whatever isn't done can get done sometime tomorrow. Or I should really just hand everything in late. I wish I could be a bad student. Tommy's game made me want to try out for the basketball team next year. I would have to start hardcore conditioning like.. right now, but I realized that I really love basketball and giving it up was probably the stupidest thing I've done so far. That's the only thing I regret about high school. Tomorrow I'm staying home all night, I SWEAR. Except for when I have to go out. I want to be able to sit at home all night and watch television or something normal. Bruce Springsteen always make me move, though. Because he's so goddamn epic. I want to be epic, too.

Five Awesome Things About Vegas

2008-02-25T11:45:00.000-08:00

1. Hotels that are beyond awesome.

2. You never have to sleep.

3. Elvis Elvis everywhere.

4. Vegoose!

5. It's in the middle of a desert.

I really enjoyed Las Vegas (which was almost a year ago to date) and I can't stop thinking about going back. I remember coming off the airplane and walking for hours on end up and down the strip and going to that oxygen bar and never sleeping and the Palace and shows and etc etc. I'm half-watching a television program on the big LV, which prompted this. I feel like things are finally calming down and I hardly feel as rushed today as I usually do. I do, however, have to work 5-10, so that puts a strain on things. The rest of the week will probably be crazy. Tomorrow I'm going to Chipotle with some people after school then Tommy's basketball game and out with everyone afterwards, Wednesday I have GHS aaand Elan, Friday is the show! So yeah, so yeah, so yeah. I have to write fucking poetry by tonight and give it to Mr. Smith and I just want it to be good and I hope he doesn't hate it. And I, and I, and I. I have nothing to write about.

......

My Witness Is The Empty Sky

I crossed the Jersey state line with my barefeet on the dashboard

And my cigarette tapping the ashtray exterior of the Chevy

My boyfriend was driving ten miles over the speed limit.

I ran my hand over the Atlantic and traced the waves as

They each took their turn pounding into the sand in a rythm

That matched the song that was playing over the radio.

When the music was gone, I tapped the beat on my left leg

Which was sunburned enough that each count left a mark,

And soon I was busy making five-fingered clouds in a numb red sky.

Until my boyfriend, whose eyes never left the road ahead,

Asked what the hell I was doing and I merely said what I always felt:

"Nothing."

Five Things I Found Out In College Last Night

2008-02-24T07:04:00.001-08:00

1. (Name withheld) is with child! Holy shit!

2. "He's trippin' ballllllls."

3. Catch22 is awesome.

4. I love Strawberry Kiwi Gatorade Rain.

5. FLOWERS ON THE HOOKUP CHART.

Oh, Rutgers. Not sure what else to say about that other than I'm really excited for next year at my schooooool. However, since I had to wake up at 8:30 in the morning, I got a little lost on the way home because I wasn't following Russel and didn't even have Kauf' with me in the car.

Five Reasons I Should Get A Raise

2008-02-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

1. I'm a survivor. Three staffs?

2. College.

3. I show up on time.

4. I love work.

5. Give me one reason I shouldn't.

I'm planning a show and I'm really excited. I'm following around a band and I'm really excited. I still haven't written that poem, but I'm painting tonight so it's all good. Something creative daily is my goal. Right after Danny and I go to OLD NAVY because he likes dressing nicely now. I want one of those hats that fall off your head, but don't really ever fall off. You know? Edit: So I got a new pair of jeans and lip balm today from the Nave. Danny got three shirts. Then we got dinner for $3 each and it was so filling and neither of us even finished. I'm such a bad student because, again, I've decided to put off everything until tomorrow and just go to bed right now. Ahaha. But I might write that poem first.. Or during my sleep. I think it's going to be about tattoos. This Kim Addonizio poem is my inspiration:

First Poem for You

I like to touch your tattoos in complete

darkness, when I can’t see them. I’m sure of

where they are, know by heart the neat

lines of lightning pulsing just above

your nipple, can find, as if by instinct, the blue

swirls of water on your shoulder where a serpent

twists, facing a dragon. When I pull you

to me, taking you until we’re spent

and quiet on the sheets, I love to kiss

the pictures in your skin. They’ll last until

you’re seared to ashes; whatever persists

or turns to pain between us, they will still

be there. Such permanence is terrifying.

So I touch them in the dark; but touch them, trying.

Five Things I Can Write A Poem About

2008-02-19T18:29:00.000-08:00

1. Getting lost on the way to that show.

2. People who awkwardly buy porn.

3. Closing the store on a Monday night.

4. Rutgers parties.

5. Tattoos.

Yes, I need this new poem. Smith asked me if I wanted to come to this poetry workshop with him in March. He can only take ten students, so when he asked me, I was in shock. So now I'm afraid to write something that will blow. And I have to do it by the end of this week. Today was completely a waste of life, but it was nice. I caught up on sleep from the time I got home from school until 5:30 when my pops came to pick me up. I got home at 7:30, did nothing except shower and now I'm going back to sleep. But not before watching some Family Guy that I stole from my brother. Tomorrow I plan on getting a lot done. If it hadn't been for the terrible night sleep I got Monday nights, things would have been different. But what can you do..

Five Reasons Crash Romeo Is Wonderful

2008-02-18T06:20:00.001-08:00

1. Lead singer = Attractive.

2. Bassist = Attractive.

3. Guitarist = Attractive.

4. Drummer = Attractive.

5. The song 'Serious' is dangerously catchy.

I mean, there are definitely more things to bands than just their looks, but looks are what first got me into Crash Romeo. Hahaha. That sounds horrible. Buuuuut, I will say, that after seeing them live.. They were good. My head is a little woooohooo right now, so none of this probably makes any sense. Basically, what I'm trying to say is everyone in the band is really hot and I love taking pictures of them and I'm going to all of their shows from here on OUT because they are.. okay, maybe I wouldn't listen to them normally but they're so NICE and wonderful! There's much to do today! Going back to school tomorrow. Rest in peace, Mr. Leu.

Five Best 80's Love Songs (In Honor Of Valentine's Day)

2008-02-13T18:08:00.000-08:00

1. REO Speedwagon - Keep On Loving You

2. Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes

3. Posion - Every Rose Has It's Thorn

4. New Kids On The Block - I'll Be Loving You (Forever)

5. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse Of The Heart

I can't believe I drew that rose when I was in seventh grade and didn't know much about love other than what I saw in movies and heard in songs. It was never applicable in real life, because I had no one to really love (romantically, anyways). I didn't even have any good crushes in seventh grade because I only saw the same six boys everyday, and they were the same six I had seen everyday since Kindergarten. They were (and still are) like broski's to me. So now I sit here, several years later, in need of a love poem still without knowing much about love. But I figured I would write about what I do know about. And that, folks, is 80's love songs.

It is a question that has plagued the great minds of our generation: What Is Love? I was seven years old when I learned the answer, and it was hidden in thecassette box in the backseat of my father's 1986 MazdaProtege. I found out that Love Hurts. Love Stinks.Love Bites. Love Is A Battlefield. You just Can'tFight This Feeling.  But love, perhaps,  is More ThanA Feeling.  Love is a Total Eclipse of the Heart. LoveWill Keep Us Together and Love Will Tear Us Apart. Some will Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That). Still Haven't Found What [You're] Looking For?  LostThat Loving Feeling? Don't Blame It On Your Heart. And don't worry if you're All Out Of Love on thisValentine's Da, because your Heart Will Go On.  Therewill be others.  You Can't Help Falling In Love.  Loveis in Every Breath You Take.  But be cautious, andalways remember that no matter how good love looks,Every Rose Has It's Thorn.

Five Things About My New Manager

2008-02-12T18:54:00.000-08:00

1. His name is Matt.

2. His child is named after AC Slater!

3. Three of his cars have been in danger of "blowing up".

4. He is the fastest closer in the company.

5. He is forever endebted to me already.

I'm liking him so far. He's 23, even though someone told me he was older than John. Hahaha. Basically, we closed early because of the weather and then it took me an hour to drive home. Route 22 was a mess! Seriously. I didn't go above 25 the entire time and I believe I was the only one driving in the entire state. Matt was very reassuring that we would have school tomorrow (thank God). Plus Steph checked the weather on her phone in Lit today and it's supposed to start raining around midnight and stay above 32 degrees. Tomorrow will be in the 50's. I really do hate snow. Always have, always will. Spring, where art thou?

Five Coolest NYU Alumni

2008-02-11T17:31:00.001-08:00

1. Woody Allen

2. Whoopi Goldberg

3. Meg Ryan/Billy Crystal (yes, they count as one because of When Harry Met Sally)

4. Clive Davis

5. Candance Bushnell (Sex and the City!)

But there are so many others.. There are also a ton of awesome people (okay, mainly John Cusack) who didn't graduate but still went there. Tons of really well known people. Hopefully someday I'll be on the list and some other unknown blogger will cite me as their coolest NYU alum. However, I don't think I'll ever be able to top people like Ang Lee and that/those dude/s from Rent. YO, speaking of 'blogs'... 90 Day Jane? Ripping off that Chuck Palahniuk quote? Are you serious? She's not going to kill herself. (www.90dayjane.com btws) So anyway, tonight is one of those nights where I could be doing a lot of things, but I'm not going to because for some reason I feel really sick. But not sick, just like.. it hurts when I move. It's strange. The two hour open house at the school didn't help because I was running around with little children for two hours. So yeah, now I'm home and I'm actually going to bed right after this. Last night I had a bad sleep, so tonight I'm making up for it. But really, everything I was going to do (except for all of that English homework...) doesn't have to be done until Thursday. But one thing that has to be done tonight is the rewatching of Amy Winehouse's Grammy performance.

Five Things That Happened This Weekend (In Chronological Order)

2008-02-10T18:47:00.000-08:00

1. Everyone got drunk.

2. We filmed a martial arts film.

3. Skiied without stopping for five hours because the mountain was deserted.

4. Hot tubbed while it was snowing.

5. Slid cars down incredibly icy hills.

Things were just as relaxing as I had imagined. First to arrive on Friday afternoon.. hung around the digs and unpacked everything. Started to read Chuck Klosterman's IV and fell in love with it and got really excited to start a career in the same field. Then we played around with the video camera and hung on the porch with a nice fire. We went in the hot tub around 2am and went to bed. The next day we skiied alllll day, came home and pigged out, filmed more stuff, hot tubbed again until 1 and watched School of Rock. Sunday we left around 2 and I got home at 5:30 or so. Then I spent three hours on Euro work (props, nametags, skit-writing, powerpoints, worrying) and now it's 10:15 and I'm not doing my English homework until tomorrow. I have to go shower and pass out. I never wrote that poem on paper, but it's all in my head. So is a little prose piece I'm reading at Smith's V-Day Poetry Party. This week, albeit short, is filled with biz. It's bizzy. Tomorrow night I have the Open House from 6-8 for the 4th and 5th graders. Joy. Tuesday night I'm working and Wednesday night I have to prepare for Valentine's Day! But I'm off on Friday, so it's all good, baby. All good.

Five Things I'm Excited For This Weekend

2008-02-08T10:46:00.003-08:00

1. No cell phone service, no computers.

2. Tons of reading and art making.

3. New music (Kaiser Chiefs) to listen to.

4. Outdoor hot tub.

5. Bonfires.

And of course, the people I'll be with. I'm so excited! I love the lake house and not having communication with the outside world and skiing and things like that. I have to go shower and pack and leave within the next hour, so this is brief. I'm coming home with a poem. I swear.

Five Quotes That Prove My Mother May Be Crazy

2008-02-05T17:17:00.000-08:00

1. To my brother: "Hey, Mr. 3.4 GPA, have fun at community college because you'll never get in to any real schools."

2. "WHY WOULD YOU ONLY GET A 94 IN JOURNALISM?"

3. "I don't think Honors Calculus should have been that hard, you just didn't try."

4. "There's no reason AP English shouldn't be a high A."

5. "I'm sending this to NYU and then we'll see who's laughing."

It's really hard not to laugh, though. Me and Xan were both cracking up as we were getting ripped a new asshole in the kitchen. Even my dad was kind of laughing when she brought up the fact that Xan had a 96 in Computer Apps, which isn't even an A+. I don't know why I can't take her seriously about grades anymore. It might be because I'm in college already and my grades/GPA would be perfectly acceptable to most people. I used to get upset when she called me dumb, but I know she doesn't really mean any of it because then she started laughing, too. And then I realized that I can't be upset when she says I'm lazy because (sometime during junior year) I realized she was right. There's really no reason I can't have a 4.0 GPA and a 2100 on my SATs. I have no learning disabilities, I have no problems.. I just choose not to study for three hours for a test. I choose to do major assignments the night before they're due. I choose to not do my SAT review problems on a daily basis. Life is all about choices. Like today, for instance, I chose to stay after school for Physics tutorial, come home at 3:30, run for an hour, shower, go out with my dad and then come home to start my mounds of homework that may very well take me until 10:30. But I can't bitch and moan about how tired I am or how hard my classes are. This was my choice. Unless something is completely out of my power, I have no right to complain.

Five Shows I'd Settle For

2008-01-30T15:34:00.001-08:00

1. Say Anything, Manchester Orchestra.

2. The Bravery.

3. Simple Plan (no, really).

4. Nada Surf.

5. Flogging Molly.

No one ever tours in the winter. Another reason why winter blows and I can't wait for spring. I don't even like winter shows because you have to wear a winter coat and you can't wait outside in the parking lot without freezing to death and you never get there early because you don't want to freeze to death and I JUST HATE WINTER. Ugh. Bloc Party is touring during the spring, so that'll be something to look forward to. The World/Inferno show I was going to on Friday sold out already.. Blah. February is a lame month. Next weekend I'm going to Ruthie's lake house.. We're planning a city weekend at Zach's dad's house.. I'm really trying to get down to Temple/Philly to see Cocokaty, too.. It's just a lame month because I really don't want to do any of this while it's cold and wintry outside. The lake house has a hot tub, atleast. But the city in the winter isn't my favorite thing. And yeah. No wonder hibernation exists.

Five Specific Things To Be Happy About At This Very Moment

2008-01-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

1. Two more questions left for the Communist Manifesto (which I should be doing instead of this)!

2. John still works at FYE.

3. I met two really cool peeps (Lindsay, Kate) in my second block class, meaning I now know cool people in every single one of my classes.

4. No more Dr. Fink!

5. I could do a lot of homework in A Lunch.

So yeah, after last night I've been stressing all day over work but it's all okay now. I think I was stressed out because John was stressed out and right around this time last year (almost to the exact day), Heather got let go. Then Jess left, then Moe left, then everyone I loved left. Except Anna. Then we hired all new people, who have since left (my darling Vincent). Then we hired all new people again for the holiday, and most of them have left. I like exactly where we are right now (minus big R) and I don't want that to change yet.. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that knowing someone in the Screen Actors Guild is splendid. You know how many free movies are in my house right now? A lot! 3:10 to Yuma, Atonement, Into the Wild, Hairspray, Away From Her... there's a few more. I like awards season. I'm determined to watch those movies! Especially Atonement and Away From Her because the letter A is arguably the best letter of the AAAAlphAAAAbet.

Five Favorite Flaming Lips Songs

2008-01-23T13:09:00.000-08:00

1. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt I

2. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt II

3. Do You Realize?

4. My Cosmic Autumn Rebellion

5. All We Have Is Now

I don't pride myself on being the biggest FL fan in the world or anything, but I'm truly in love with "Yoshimi..." (song and album, but mostly song). First semester is already over.. I have no real finals tomorrow and second block I think I'm going to skip out on after the written portion of my final because Sarah told me to come to her Euro class (they're having a party). Friday I have my Calc FINAL. F-I-N-A-L. It's over, it's over. I'm sad because there are some good people in that class that I enjoy talking to, but nothing about mathematics will be missed at all. NOTHING. DocChow would be upset if he ever found out how much I hate hate hate Calculus. Uh, since tomorrow isn't an actual day I'm going to stay up late tonight (after work, that is) and make a mix for Annie so she won't feel so sad. Plus, I feel like I haven't seen her in so long even though that's not true. And I'm determined to finish this painting I'm working on for the office at work. This weekend won't be as busy as last, so I think I can get a lot of work done. Friday is a post-final celebration post-school, then later on is Last Band Standing and the after-activities. Saturday I'm working until 4 then doing Euro homework then going to see There Will Be Blood, which I'm excited about because it looks good and it's nominated for a million things. Today Cynthia told me that the Myans were wrong and we'll still be good to go after 2012. It made me feel good.

PS: I've had Yoshimi stuck in my head for hours. John told me to sing part of it out loud, and end the line with the word "binnet" or something of that nature. I don't want it to work, this song is awesome. He says if it's a good song, let it stay up there. He's not feeling well right now and I just hope he gets better soon.

Five Songs I Forgot I Loved

2008-01-21T08:31:00.000-08:00

1. Pulling Muscles (From the Shell) - Squeeze

2. I'll Stand By You - The Pretenders

3. Two Princes - Spin Doctors

4. Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind

5. The Freshman - The Verve Pipe

Yeah, I've gotten a bunch of new old music lately and it's all really good. AND John put on the Reality Bites soundtrack the other day.. I forgot how good Squeeze is. Tempted was almost on the list, but Pulling Muscles is probably my favorite. I have a bunch of random things to do today, on this Martin Luther holiday. I have to make a mix to send to Wisconsin (ps: sorry about your football team. ouch!), a special something for a special some(two)'s birthday(s), update my iPod even though it's slowly being sucked of life, go see Cloverfield again, do all my homework and paint and prepare for Valentine's Day things. I like Valentine's Day.. V-Day.. VD. Hahhahahaahha. It's always nice to remember you are loved.

Five Words That Describe Cloverfield

2008-01-18T22:43:00.001-08:00

1. Epic.
2. Intense.
3. Awesome.
4. Scary.
5. Rad.

When John called before our conversation started like this. Him- "When are you going?" Me-"10:15. How was it?" Him- "It was good." But it was so much better than good! I want to watch it over and over again. It made me laugh and jump and cry (just a little bit). Almost like this show that's playing in the background called "Lock Up Raw" which is about inmates. The man on right now has something like 47 swastikas tattooed on his body. Hahahahah. I'm just waiting for To Catch A Predator to start. I realized that I wait for a lot of things, and look forward to them. I need to stop. Everything is moving way too fast. I remember talking to John about this movie in the summer, when it was still being called 1.18.08. The date seemed so far away, and now it's here. Oh yeah, Riona/Borah/I are going to see World/Inferno at the Bowery on February 1st. February seems like a whole different planet right now, and I'd like to keep it that way. One last thing: as soon as I won't freak out about spending $40, there are a super cool pair of koi fish Vans that I would love to purchase.

Five Songs You Need While Trapped In Your House Because Of Snow

2008-01-17T14:44:00.001-08:00

1. "Rocket Boy" Jets to Brazil

2. "Hallelujiah (sp?)" Jeff Buckley

3. "Oh Comely" Neutral Milk Hotel

4. "Backyards" Broken Social Scene

5. "How It Ends" DeVotchKa

I wish I were trapped in my house because of snow. I made a tape called "Hibernation" today and it's full of songs that are so long and slow it makes you feel like you're asleep. Sadly, the mix isn't that long because you can't exactly fit too many songs like that. For example, the five that I've included are all atleast over six minutes long. Epic! Taco Night has turned into Production Night because I have to bring Zan somewhere but I want to do a lot more than that. This includes: making/buying dinner, making JD and Klossface's birthday things for tomorrow, burning music for people, scholarship goodness! John in seeing Cloverfield in SIX HOURS and I have to wait for another 28 hours! But it should be good. Me and Rio. Rio-union. Ha. Also, I don't know why I put a picture of Dan Andriano on this because Alkaline Trio actually isn't on this mix. But he's cute.

Five Material Things I Want

2008-01-16T17:46:00.000-08:00

1. Sweet pair of Ran Bans.

2. Tickets to Cloverfield!

3. Family Guy: Blue Harvest.

4. A television.

5. NYU sweatpants.

The Ray Bans are for the summer when me and Katy go to the city, so we can both wear them, duh. The tickets are for Friday. John told me they were going to sell out and naturally made me all paranoid! Blue Harvest looks so good. Perhaps I'll watch it with Joe one day, because he wants to see it but no one else does. I do. The television will be for the garage, because I'm about to go work out (it's very late, and music will put me to sleep) and it would make the time go by quicker. I bought the new Magnetic Fields album today (much to John's dismay, I think. before I even paid, he went on about how much it was going to suck) which deserves a listen because I'm writing a review for it. So this might be a good time to listen to it. The sweatpants are just really sweet and JP told me today that I needed more college swag (I definitely don't! But sweats would be nice). I got a nice Andy Warhol bag today with Jesus on it. I don't even like Andy Warhol that much. I don't think he was that talented. But maybe I'm too old fashioned.

Five Reasons I'm Glad I Stayed Home Today

2008-01-14T11:02:00.001-08:00

1. Waking up at 5am and doing homework made me really tired.

2. I can finally write a good Lamp article.

3. I slept from 7-11:30.

4. I can really clean out my school stuff! And do all the homework I already know I have.

5. I get to work on scholarship stuff. Lame.

My mom let me stay home today because I finally had no more Calculus lectures and my lips were bleeding and we she won't let me take anymore medicine and I haven't missed one day this year and I probably won't be able to miss another one. The only thing I had to do was walk the dogs at 6:40 in the morning after I did all of my homework. So really, I should have asked her yesterday so I didn't have to wake up so fucking early. But it's alright. All I've done today was catch up on homework. I'm about to give my backpack a major cleanout, update my whiteboard, read the Communist Manifesto, write my article and start doing all of the scholarship essays (so far I only have two, but they're about trivial things that will never warrant 600 words a piece). Oh, and I have to clean up my hardrive because I'm running "dangerously low" on disk space and my computer is about to crash, or something. Then lateron, I plan on going for a nice walk to sweat out all of the "sickness" in my body and yeah! Good times! Oh, more good times is NYU giving me $lots of dollars and my mom telling them to give me more and then them giving me more and then she wanted to tell them 'more' again and I just said 'STOP'. So she did. $15,000. I can't even wrap my brain around it.

Five Reasons We Must Have A Snow Day

2008-01-13T18:18:00.000-08:00

1. Rough rough weekend. I need one recovery day, please God, please.

2. I didn't do any homework, and right now my alarm is set for 5am to do it all.

3. I took too many Advil today and I still feel sick.

4. We haven't had one this winter!

5. I have a lot of misc. birthday/holiday shoppings and things to do. Scholarship applications.

There was no rest for the weary this weekend. There was only pills, Philly, shows, Condom Kingdom, police station, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, "The only good sex is the sex with cuddling at the end. That's the only true sex there is, really" and other life lessons, no sleep at all, countless hours of working and driving, involvement in a hit and run, still sleepless, sickness, skanking, car rides, gps, party, Tony Romo... and I would like nothing more than a day off from school. If I wasn't so afraid to puke, I would do it just to stay home anyway. This semester needs to end. And like my nose, I'm running. "The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world."

Five Reasons I Love My Camera

2008-01-09T16:39:00.000-08:00

Everything is so new and beautiful. I need to figure out how to really use my camera. To the best of it's ability. Anyway, the weather is great and so is my English teacher. I haven't been doing any homework for anything, really, yet still manage to maintain my grades in all four classes. I've been outside until it's dark every day this week. This weekend, I predict I'll spend two hours at my house. Maybe not even two hours. I have mixed feelings about weekends like this because sometimes I just want to sleep in. But then I feel like life is way too short not to be doing something productive with all these beautiful days and nights and weekends and minutes and seconds. Except on weeknights. On weeknights, I enjoy finishing homework, writing something and reading for fun. Prozac Nation. There's something about slitting your wrists to Strawberry Fields Forever. Nothing is real. I could see why someone would pick that song. However, I could not see why someone would ever slit a wrist. It makes me want to puke.

Five Things I Should Have Done Today

2008-01-07T17:10:00.001-08:00

1. Read Pride & Prejudice.

2. Studied Calculus.

3. Taken Advil.

4. Straightened my hair.

5. Cleaned my room.

It was such a beautiful beautiful day out that none of these practical things got done. I was outside until 6:00pm. I came inside, played drums with my brother and watched the I Love New York 2 reunion because I fell asleep during it last night. Right now, my head is pounding. All homework seems impossible because I'm feeling a little sickly. My camera lens was shipped today! This is going to be the craziest week ever. Today I was out, tomorrow I'm going to Katie's, coming home for some hardcore Calc intervention/studying, going out with Zan for his birthday. Wednesday I have German, Thursday is Elan and work until close. Friday, Anna and I are baking and watching scary Japanese films all night. Saturday I work 10-6 and go straight from work to Philly for the Big D show.. Sunday there's a party at Kelson's house. Great. I want to relax! With no homework to worry about, either. I want my lens! I'm very impatient because I just want to start taking pictures. And I want to see Matt before he leaves (Saturday, boo).

Five New Lists

2008-01-01T13:21:00.000-08:00

Five Reasons 2007 Was Ballin'

1. Car! And license to drive it.

2. Acceptance.

3. I got a new boss and he's quite boss.

4. Nikon D40.

5. All times with friends were good ones.

Five Favorite Albums of 2007 (No Order)

1. New Wave

2. Magic

3. Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga

4. Wincing the Night Away

5. Remains (it counts! sweet DVD included)

Five Things I'm Looking Forward to in 2008

1. Lots of good shows (January alone is Whole Wheat Bread, HWM and The Lawrence Arms).

2. Alkaline Trio release!

3. Chicago (I'm doing it).

4. Turning 18/Clubbing as soon as it happens.

5. Moving to the big NYC.

Five Things I've Already Done in 2008

1. Played "Kings" and it became my new favorite games.

2. First Red Bull (and I needed it).

3. Stayed up until 4am watching "movies" (lololol).

4. Drove with the windows down.

5. Major headache.

Five Things I Hope to Accomplish in 2008

1. Good health.

2. More art! Giant canvas!

3. Mixtapes on cassettes.

4. Tons of pictures of everyone and everything.

5. A better job of keeping in touch.

Rang in 2008 nicely. Instead of sleeping like I should have today, I went to the mall/movies, uploaded pictures, uploaded CDs, Twilight Zone marathon, sank the Pod and will now begin my homework so I can get it over with and start a new painting.

Five Most Played AM! Songs (And For Good Reason)

2007-12-30T09:45:00.000-08:00

1. Don't Lose Touch

2. We Laugh At Danger And Break All The Rules

3. Pints Of Guiness Make You Strong

4. Untitled (from the Acoustic EP)

5. Reinventing Axl Rose

I like lyrics that mean something and that you can shout out of your car window. IF THIS GM VAN DON'T MAKE IT ACROSS THE STATE LINE WE MIGHT AS WELL LAY DOWN AND DIE! BECAUSE IF FLORIDA TAKES US, WE'RE TAKING EVERYONE DOWN WITH US! WHERE WE'RE COMING FROM WILL BE THE DEATH OF US! You know, things like that. My vacation was anything but relaxing and fun. It was quite a disaster. I got bit on the arm, fell on ice, read no books because there was no light, had no stamps to send my letters and left a day early. I can't wait to get my camera and start taking pictures. I really wish I had it for the next few days worth of activities before school starts again. Winter vacation felt like nothing at all. Time didn't stop at all. Everything just kept going and going and there was no rest, for the weary or anyone else for that matter. I still have to do math homework and read that self-important bitch Jane Austen. I need to clean out my car, room, backpack, life life life.

Five Freshly Burned CDs

2007-12-24T21:38:00.001-08:00

1. 8 Diagrams from Wu-Tang Clan

2. NBC Presents: The 60's

3. Stone Cold Rhymin' from Young M.C.

4. The Lemonheads from The Lemonheads

5. Pretty Much The Greatest Christmas Mix Ever from Rohan

Seriously, Rohan really did make pretty much the greatest Christmas mix ever. That's why I didn't even try (and I don't think John did, either, even though he kept asking me where my great mix was). We ran into each other in the parking lot (it was sort of planned.. I was coming to pick it up/he was going to his car to get it) and it was fun. I'm excited to see everyone tomorrow. Little Johnny (right) and the Carlucci's are coming, which is something special. Yesterday in the city it started raining really hard. I wish city rain would happen to me more often, it smelled good and even though my shoes were soaked, I barely felt wet. I've also concluded that Hoboken is the best way to travel. Transportation cost $8 to park, $3 for a MetroCard plus gas money. Compared to the $17 it takes for the train.. Cool. I might have to live in Hoboken for a little while. I snapped some really good pictures. I wish they would just upload onto the computer.

Merry Christmas! It's been Baby Jesus' birthday for an hour now. Matthew S. Lax is coming over for the holiday so it should be quite fun.

Five Favorite Holiday Songs

2007-12-23T08:49:00.000-08:00

1. Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis

2. Guster - Donde Es La Santa Claus?

3. Band Aid - Feed the World (Do They Know It's Christmas?)

4. Mighty Mighty Bosstones - This Time of Year

5. Away In A Manger

I'm doing everything last minute, as always. Bought some gifts for Dennis this morning, but that's all. I usually bake and paint everything for everyone. Gifts don't matter that much. I asked Santa for a Nikon D40, but I think if I get it I'll feel really guilty because it's expensive and I'd rather buy it myself. Anyway.. Today I'm going to the city (hopefully getting some nice PJs somewhere for the NYE partay) and to my dad's house for "Christmas Eve". Since he doesn't come over for Christmas morning anymore, we go to his house on the 23rd for Christmas Eve and the 24th is Christmas morning. You know? Haha. I have to work on the fam's annual Christmas DVD! Last night Dann, Annie and I went to Westfield in all it's pre-Christmasy glory. So cute. We went to John's house and hung out with Beth and the dog. So cute. We took a lot of funny pictures that were totally indie and scene. Hahahah. We layed in the middle of the busy street, really long exposures, black and white, coffee cups.. The whole thing. But my camera, as always, doesn't work with my computer anymore.

Five Terrible Things About Pre-Christmas Week.

2007-12-19T18:25:00.001-08:00

1. Teachers still think we're paying attention.

2. Every class has to get ONEEE more test in before we leave.

3. "Well, since you have the next week OFF, I might as well give you 102,923 projects..."

4. All of my nights have been dedicated to making Christmas gifts. Homework is put off until Block 2 Journalism. But hey, it gets done, right?

5. Slow. Slow. Sllllllllllllow.

Slow, like a row of l's or a row of i's. When you type a row of l's or i's you press the button forever, yet get nowhere. Nothing like a row of w's or v's. All of my weeks thus far have been w's. But now, when it counts, I get an l week. Let me free, let me run free. I'm craving iced tea so badly right now. I've never wanted to consume a beverage this badly in my life. My throat is wanting. Wanting. I've been drinking bottled water but everything about it is wrong. Everything. If I were motivated enough, I'd run out to King's right now. Now.

Wanting everything now. No delayed gratification, no patience.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

I can't even wait for that. I copied and pasted.

Five Cool Things About Whole Wheat Bread

2007-12-16T18:18:00.001-08:00

1. They have the greatest shirts ever. "Dirty South Punk Rock" and "I Love Black People" and "Fuck the Police".

2. They do the Soulja Boy dance on stage.

3. "Why is it that you white people are always on that show 'When Animals Attack'?"

4. They rock out and rap while doing so.

5. Before they go on stage, the audience chants "Whole Wheat Bread ain't nothin' to fuck wit!"

Honestly, WWB was one of the best acts I've seen in a while. Big D was okay, but WWB had tremendous energy and the crowd loved them. Also, Brain Failure. A band from Beijing. So good, even though at times I couldn't really understand them. I like ska shows a lot, I don't think I go to enough of them. After the show we went to Time To Eat, where the kids behind us were listening to our very awkward conversation. We laughed a lot after that. It was a really good time. Cynthia says they have another show in January... More: Today I managed to draw out all of my Christmas presents for my work folks. Now I just have to paint them all and stuff. Ah, there's a lot to do in a short week.

Five Lyrics About This

2007-12-12T17:58:00.000-08:00

1. "I just want you to know I have a major crush on you. I'd take you to Las Vegas to do the things you want to do. I'd even have Wayne Newton dedicate a song to you. I only wish that this could be."

2. "I know I'll always stop and see you. We'll run into each other's fucked up lives. Yeah, I guess, although it tears me up inside."

3. "I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. But if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me. I promise you, I promise you I will."

4. "If we're never together, if I'm never back again.. well, I swear to God that I'll love you forever."

5. "You're all that I need, though I know that it never can be, I'd be pleased to post your decrees, to fall at your knees, to name all your streets and to sit down and weep when you're carried back through them and set down to sleep and to lie by your side for sublime centuries until we crumble to dust when we're crushed by a single sun."

okay, i always fall for the wrong people at the wrong times and everything about this is just wrong, wrong, wrong but it feels right. it feels all right. i'm feeling alright. i just want to tell him. while we're just sitting/standing there doing nothing or when we're outside and he's smoking or when he's talking to me about music. because i love those three things about him. i love nothing and cigarette smoke during the winter and music. that's all. i miss him when i'm not around him and i miss him when i am around him. it's a perpetual fucking clash between all of my emotions all the time. no one should ever think this hard about anything. i don't put this much effort into my school work.

was this too much?

and all i keep thinking about is:

someone come home.

Five Of The Ten Million Things I Love About My English Teacher

2007-12-11T18:32:00.000-08:00

1. He has the greatest glasses.

2. His vocabulary frequents the word "pagenation".

3. I'm convinced he's hiding tattoos under his sweaters.

4. He used to be a DJ.

5. He doesn't really like gin.

The first time I met Mr. Belsky, I didn't know about any of this. The only thing I knew about him was that he definitely knew where Belgium was located. Which was important, and I believe his is the sole reason I passed my German 4 midterm. But now that I know him I'm convinced that he's the silliest man alive. It's a good thing, shall he ever read this. However, I don't think he will. He doesn't understand why we all have blogs. Quite frankly, neither do I. Every day is an adventure, I guess. Wherever I wind up in twenty years.. it's comforting to know that I'll always have the Internet to remind me of my youth.

Five Reasons I'm Happy Today

2007-12-09T19:13:00.000-08:00

1. I'm going to NYU.

2. I'll be living in the city full time next year.

3. No more college applications<3.

4. Communication with bestfriend.

5. I did none of my homework and do not care one bit! I'm too happy.

SO YEAH, THAT'S WHERE I'M AT. The picture (which is the Christmas tree in Rockafell'a' Center) is worth 48,000 words. Explosion! Ecstacy! Color! Goodness, it's so surreal. Like, in four more years I'll have a degree from New York University. Are you for real? Me?! Class of 2012. I feel like everything has finally paid off. Staying up late, procrastination, sleep deprivation. I did it. I did it and it feels so fulfilling. Everyone has been really happy for me, which I think is the best part of this whole experience. I just think it's such a beautiful thing that people, though they're all worried about their own college endeavors, can still feel this tremendous happiness for others. I love it. Sometimes we suck, but we're really good deep down. Everyone I've ever known is the best. I know that I couldn't do any of this without them. I know I couldn't. Like Chuck says, "I am the combined effort of everyone I know." THANK YOU, MR. PALAHNIUK.

Five Beautiful Things About Philadelphia

2007-12-08T06:31:00.000-08:00

Last night in New York I saw the cast of the Real World. People don't translate from the Real World to the real world very well. They all looked so perfect, even though I know they aren't... My new promise to myself is trying to do one piece of art every day. Let's hope it lasts long. Hey, my brother sent an e-mail to Tom Gabel and he sent one back. That's all the excitement I can handle right now.

Five Good Reasons You Should Have Come to Fest

2007-12-06T19:49:00.001-08:00

1. Keg!

2. Pong!

3. Rock band!

4. Helium!

5. Suggestive photos!

Honestly, tonight was the most fun I've had in ages with my Germans. And, awesome news... My computer finally read my camera!!! 734 pictures!!! Holy crap, I'm so excited. Anyway, tonight. Basically, we got the keg of birch beer, Sarah stuck her head under it, we set up about 6 pong tables, we danced, did kareoke, played so much Rock Band, danced, James chugged an ENTIRE BOTTLE of syrup, a few people puked, we ate pie, we ate other things, we made waffles. I am in love. And I'm off to load about 730 pictures on the Book.