five albums i've been listening to lately that don't suck.

1. new found glory - new found glory: because i'm really excited to see the anniversary tour. plus this reminds me of 6th and 7th grade. plus i love chad gilbert. plus "hit or miss" and "sincerely me" and "dressed to kill" are in my top ten as far as nfg songs go.

2. we are the union - who we are: ska that i don't hate, probably because it's far enough away from ska that i can still listen to it.

3. lifetime - jersey's best dancers: classic. it's length perfectly coincides with my walk to and from campus everyday. not to mention i think most of the lyrics are really cute and that kind of stuff matters to me.

4. the misfits - misfits: i think the misfits are the ONE band i'm ashamed to admit i still listen to. only because they're everywhere and you can find the fiend skull printed on just about everything and i think that's kind of lame. i wish the quality was better (but that can be said for every misfits album) but a lot of my favorite misfits tracks come from this.. "where eagles dare", "she", "astro zombies", "horror business" and "skulls".

5. paint it black - new lexicon: this album has never sucked and i usually listen to it, but lately it's more listens than usual. i don't know why. probably because now i follow dan yemin on tumblr. lame.

five reasons i have a problem with NYU.

1. all they want is your money.

2. all they care about is your money.

3. you are nothing to them but $200,000.

4. i think requiring a double major with journalism is NOT about making sure i have a "specialization", it's about making sure i don't graduate in four years.

5. everything just sucks.

i probably wouldn't have spent $400 on 6 credits from seton hall if i knew NYU wasn't going to take them and instead require that i take all 16 credits of my language at NYU. it's funny that they were on the list on colleges that would accept seton hall credits. and it's also funny that my advisor told me these 6 credits that i already paid for would get me out of my language requirement here. turns out everyone was wrong. turns out i won't be graduating on time without taking either summer or winter classes (HERE, of course, since they rarely accept credits from other universities). i just want to drop out and get a job somewhere. this shit is really bringing me down. the worst part is i finished all of my finals for this semester around 10 AM this morning and since then i've been nothing but frustrated, anxious and nervous about my future in this place. something is backwards with that, i think. i just want to go home (so my parents can confront me about all this and yell at me like it's my fault) and sleep.

five things that were so new york about last night.

1. the kid who played "claus" in a series of unfortunate events was at a party at my place.

2. todd, joe, alex and i were on a balcony overlooking 14th street screaming "show us your titties!" at everyone who walked by. (a little more mardi gras than new york, but you get the idea)

3. the nypd were all over the lobby of my building at 3AM.

4. we listened to a song written by one of joe's professors about shoving waffles up someone's butt.

5. the last thing i remember is looking at my phone and it was 5:17AM.

this weekend was a bit ridiculous. i've been hanging out some new friends around here quite regularly and i'm enjoying it. and i'm still hanging out with my old friends quite regularly and i'm still enjoying it. there have been a few nights, like last night, where both of these groups came together and i was just happy. happy happy happy and a little tipsy, but who cares. right now i'm sitting indian style and very zen like on the second floor of a new coffee shop called birch. i'm looking through floor to ceiling glass into the lobby of a hotel and writing this. i think i'm going to come here every day of my life from now on to relax and write and read and sit on this same comfortable couch in this very same way.

five reasons i love thanksgiving.

1. uncle joe saying grace.

2. good stuffing.

3. thanksgiving shitshow.

4. seeing almost all of my bffs (cait was MIA).

5. driving on 22.

successful weekend, minus puking one night and not getting to see cait, but winter break is only 15 days away. weird to think about. cait's birthday is coming up very soon, i really want to impress her with the cake i'm going to make. probably not going to happen, though. unless i can figure out how to work that crazy shit she uses (fonton? fondon?). tonight i got almost nothing done except reading for journalism tomorrow (technically this was all i had to do, but i wanted to get a bunch of things finished). i did get to see a bunch of folks when they came over to eat dirt with us. so that was good. i think i'm just going to give up, take a shower, write a letter and watch always sunny and go to bed. i took the commuter train this morning at 7:30 and it was packed and gross. tomorrow in journalism i need to write in my journal, i haven't done that for the entire break. and i need to start my F.Y.E. paper. and i want to see russian circles tomorrow.

five things i want to accomplish this weekend.

1. declare my major/minor. thinking journalism/history with a minor in studio art.

2. drink a can of four loko.

3. organize all the pictures on my computer.

4. see my family.

5. finish all the homework i have to do for next week.

i need to stop sitting on my computer with my back arched and do something. granted, i have to do most of these things while sitting on my computer. it's a really nice day out (or so my dashboard says) and i really want to take a walk to adorned and see what's up over there. i also want to straighten my hair to see how it looks. you know, the important things in life. i should start my day by going to the gym, though.

five reasons i haven't blogged here in a month.

1. school.

2. figuring things out.

3. procrastination.

4. selectivewreckage.tumblr.com

5. college magazine blog. every week!

let's see. life has been crazy. CMJ came and went a while ago, i didn't go to any good shows but i worked the artist lounge every night and saw jeffrey star and met a lot of cool people. that was a hectic week, from what i remember. i feel like i'm going to be up late tonight. khush just dragged my sorry ass to the gym. it was nice. i baked brownies and promised myself i wouldn't do any homework. i've been up to my neck in papers for the last seven days. my fifth and final paper (until the next round are due) is due on wednesday, the same time as i register for classes. i have to get a lot of things figured out. it seems that as much as i try to, nothing ever comes of it. like, i'm thinking of switching my english major to a major in "social and cultural analysis". like, i need to transfer my credits here from seton hall. like, i need to open a new bank account. like, i'm ordering a new lens for $30. like, i really want to write a lot of letters and paint and clean my room and shower and dry my new/short hair. all of these things! i think i'll get started now. oh, i applied for a SPIN internship for next semester. fingers crossed. and i also got a job and it rules so so so much.

i've also been shooting more film, it's good for the soul. so good. see above. that's crime in stereo. that was such a good weekend. i miss cait and jeff. so much. and all my friends. but anyway, gotta stay positive.

five things of merit i've done today.

1. scored a job interview for tomorrow.

2. updated my resume.

3. put together an intern application for SPIN.

4. did all my lit homework for wednesday.

5. sent in my college mag blog a day early.

there have been a lot of things on my to-do list that i simply haven't been to-do-ing. tonight i'm trying to get a lot of them done. it's currently 12:32 in the morning and i'd say about about halfway through. tomorrow i don't have to wake up until 10, so i figured i'd do something productive instead of staying up for no reason. this morning i woke up when manoa did and thought i forgot to set my alarm. i've been doing that a lot lately. i got a new blog, by the way, strictly for art and photos and quotes i like and things. i'm going to start putting my creative writing assignments in there, too. i really enjoy that class. especially professor robin goldfin. what a nice man. anyway: www.selectivewreckage.tumblr.com

went to jersey over the weekend with mano, elisabeth and chelsea. got to see my family, taylor (basically my family) and kara and the boys of morrell and some random friends of shannon/mike davis' who were really drunk. i was not. they did not amuse me. things we did: mall, pizza, football game, new brunswick party, diner, new hope. typical jersey. REALLY typical. but i love it.

this week/weekend is going to be hectic. everyone and their mother is coming into the city and i need to learn how to manage my time and money and etc. man, i need thanksgiving to be here already. there's a lot of worry about that weekend, too.

oh, i will say that we went to a party on saturday night in brooklyn. my dream man (for lack of better words, i guess) was "kicking it to me" (extreme lack of better words and i specifically remember john using this phrase once, anyway..). beard, black hoodie, jean jacket, sleeves, neck tattoo, glasses, played guitar, was in a band, lived in new york, loved black flag, talked to me about bane for a solid 10 minutes, bought me a beer. and for some reason i left. without taking the beer. who knows why.. I SURE DON'T. although he was shorter than me.. hm.

five places i went yesterday.

1. goodwill (where i found an american apparel v-neck sweatshirt for six dollars).

2. starbucks (green tea lemonade, how i've missed you).

3. west village (also missed you).

4. times square!

5. the m&m store.

manoa and i left at 6:07 yesterday evening after deciding we were going to stay in for the night. we went out for mexican at "taco & tortilla king" (mexican food by way of china), right across third ave from us. then we wanted to go to the cheese shop near third north, so we walked down there but it was closed. so then we walked to kimmel to get froyo, but that was also closed. then we decided to walk around the west village, since we're never down there anymore. we got froyo somewhere besides kimmel and visited some of the same stores will smith shops in. then we decided to walk to times square just because we wanted to see the tourists and the new set-up. while we were there, we took pictures with a wax statue of morgan freeman and went to the m&m store and store m&ms. then we walked to grand central station and came home around 11. we watched SNL and a few hours of "locked up" and went to bed at 3. i had some really weird dreams. what a night, though. for "staying in", i had a lot of fun.

five things i've recently bought.

1. heather gabel tote bag (had to).

2. weakerthans ticket (amazing show).

3. pork roll (i missed it).

4. arizona iced tea and lemonade (3.49 a gallon).

5. rum and coke in BK (bacardi, but oh well).

all of this because i knew that i had a little extra money coming in from working the lupe fiasco show. by the way, it was incredible. governor's island is so so so sweet. the ferry over there was free, so i expect to be going back a lot. the show was on water taxi beach, which featured a real beach and a pretty bad ass stage. not to mention an incredible view of manhattan. so i got there, worked the guest list, only had to turn three people away, heard lupe fiasco (i want all of his stuff. quality hip-hop), saw lupe fiasco from probably the best view in the house, got 12 dollars worth of free food, got paid $75. made it home in time to hop a subway to brooklyn, attend a pretty stellar indoor/outdoor party with cheap drinks (bacardi, but oh well), hold my friend's hair back while she puked all over the subway and the taxi and 23rd street, eat a chicken gyro that my lovely roommate brought home for me, pass out at 4 AM.

here's my awesome view of the show and the island.

five things i've done in these five months.

1. lived at the beach.

2. listened to a lot of crime in stereo.

3. mourned. cried more than i ever have before.

4. moved back to new york.

5. lived life.

i'm always doing #5. i like doing it, i don't like complaining about it because i love my life. i wish i had wrote in this over the last five months because they were probably the most important months of my life so far. so much happened. i'm glad i've been writing it down somewhere (actual journal, what?). here are pictures from the last five months. in short.. i went on a life-altering trip to california, i only hung out with a few people at home but they're my favorite people i've ever met and i love them dearly, lost someone very close to me (rest in peace MPD, love you always and forever), parted ways with a few good friends who may have never really been my good friends in the first place, got my art tattooed on my best friend, explored the rest of my city, explored some great parts of my state, grew incredibly close to my family, saw and listened to and loved a lot of great music.

so that's that, in a nutshell. now i'm back in school and really excited about this semester. i'm taking a journalism class, a literary interpretation class, a creative writing class, a poetry class and a class on adolf hitler. aside from school, i've been trying to get my foot in the door at a few publications and boring bullshit like that. i write weekly for college magazine, i'm doing the SPIN street team. i got a twitter? twitter.com/amandadel. i've had one since february, katy made me do it. i'm working on a piece about cigarette smoke and men right now. story of my life. i'm too tired to finish it, but i will. i've been writing more than usual lately and i forgot how much i love it and miss it when i don't do it. i also miss a lot of people. especially matt, i was thinking about him today. he seems so far away. i made a mix for him, i'm working on a letter to pair it with and then i'll send it to some place in syracuse new york where it's probably snowing already.

fast forward to what i'm doing at this exact moment: listening to the weakerthans and feeling unattached to the feelings i felt five months ago when i listened to them. now i don't get sad or upset or any of that bullshit. i'm just happy they exist. i'm happy to exist, that's all. john k. sampson, or at least i feel anyway, is a fucking genius and i take every word and line he says to heart. i'm seeing the weakerthans with nick tomorrow night in brooklyn. i'm really excited and not worried about who will or won't be there, which i'm proud of.

right now "left and leaving" (album, not song) is on and i've listened to watermark (song, yes) over and over and over. it's beautiful.

hold on to the corners of today, we'll fold them up to save until it's needed.

five things i hate about "growing up".

1. my heart hurts.

2. i don't want a job.

3. $200,000 of debt makes me constantly need to vomit.

4. being sort of alone.

5. when i fight the law, it usually wins.

"things are weird right now". i saw that on the webster hall marquee and it's really true. i thought i was going to bed but i think i'm going to stay up and paint and stop thinking about things that should no longer matter to me. i need cait and brit and the boys and adventures real soon. i have a crazy adventure coming up: california. writing, picture taking, relaxing for ten days. good. i need this. i need this. i need this. i keep telling myself that and it never seems to be any less true. cool.

five people i saw today that i really like and don't see every day.

1. lindsay!!

2. dale!!

3. dann

4. professor ward regan

5. josh (he's been at coachella, so yeah)

it was a good day overall. the weather got better, i wore shorts and flip flops, managed to procrastinate until 9PM (and i'm still procrastinating by doing this).  i just have to write another page or so on the first draft of my final writing paper. the one about what myspace is doing to affect cultural production. kewl. my last paragraph was about N*SYNC. no strings attached, muthafucka.

five songs i've listened to every single day since i last updated this thing.

1. calexico - sunken waltz

2. okkervil river - song of our so called friends

3. the weakerthans - my favourite chords

4. alkaline trio - do you wanna know?

5. chuck ragan - california burritos

i can't believe it's taken me this long to organize my thoughts enough to write them down. i've been terrible at keeping track of things, i've been terrible at doing things lately. i just don't know what's going on and i feel like once school ends i'll be a lot better. things have been stressing me out. like this week, i have hundreds of pages to read and a little over 20 pages to write. the question is: what is the intent of modern philosophy? i've been considering writing the entire thing on bruce springsteen, but i'm not sure how that would work out.

this last semester of school i've tried to write papers that i actually enjoy writing. my paper for writing class is how myspace and other social networking sites have affected the music business and the public's concept of celebrity. i wrote another paper on why kanye west isn't a genius. i wrote something about the human brain. it's whatever.

i've found lately that life is generally better when you stick to doing things you love. i mean, i've always known that.. but lately i've been dragged down by a lot of STUPID THINGS. i need to stop being so crazy. i would like to blame this all on every english class i've ever taken and the need to analyze and compute every word someone says. sometimes you just need to take things for what they're worth and not worry that you're missing the real point. sometimes there's not a real point. if someone says they like you, then maybe they do (i understand that's bad grammar). maybe i need to stop thinking of reasons why they shouldn't. he shouldn't. whatever, english.

instead of thinking about words, i'm just going to think about feelings. the feeling of laying in bed and still being awake when the sun comes up. the feeling of tiredness that will last the entire next day. the feeling in your stomach when you hear the first few chords of "thunder road" on an acoustic guitar. the feeling of the possibility of a zombie attack, just so you can say you were prepared. (actually, in the event of a real zombie attack, i wouldn't know what to do. how do you kill something that's already dead?)

i like all of those feelings.

i like the feelings that i get listening to these five songs, which is why i've listened to them every day. right now, i'm listening to the version of "hey salty" from summer of the shark (portastatic!). i love listening to this song because: 1. it's so good. 2. it makes me feel so good. 3. i remember one night, dann texted me asking me to listen to it for him because his iPod was dead and he didn't have his computer. poor dann, he doesn't feel good. first it was the pink eye and now i think i gave him my tonsil disease. i'm currently working on a mix for him that we can listen to when we go home this weekend.. maybe that'll make it him feel better. going home this weekend will make me feel a lot better about everything. it will consist of a house party at brian's (also, brian called me today. had some good conversations. he's drumming in asher roth's music video tomorrow. fuck him for being awesome, but i'm glad we'll eventually be working together and taking over the world) and going to see alkaline trio! perfect feelings, perfect company, perfect weather.

hey salty, these days you might only haunt me, but it's okay. yeah, it's okay.

five cool things.

1. beard.

2. tattoos.

3. camera lens.

4. glasses.

5. bruce springsteen.

i get it, no one else may. anyway.. lately i've really been feelin' spring break. i haven't really spent the last three weekends here and it makes me sad, though the places i go make me happy. i've got family all over the place and it's taken me a few months to realize that. i went to dinner with dann tonight and there was a copy of the anthology of tom waits on tape sitting on the table. FOR ME. it made me really happy, and now i'm in a happy mood. happy and lucky. happy go lucky? happy AND lucky to have such good people in college with me. most importantly dann, it's crazy that we both ended up here. sort of crazy, anyway. i still remember visiting NYU with him when i was a SOPHOMORE. damn.

lately i've also written a lot of papers and read a lot of books. right now i'm "reading" hobbes leviathan. i say "reading" because i'm just reading the sparknotes. whatever. i just spent the last half hour or so (probably more) dancing around our room with manoa with glowsticks and all the lights off, dancing to a lot of rap with this awesome new york hat on. she had an atlanta hat on. north vs south, civil war status.

this has become my newest favorite picture. my best friends! broken down, helpless on 287. northbound. bound for less than jake and goldfinger. in reality, bound for a night of dave diange and hookah on my back porch. i think it may have rained. i remember sitting with my feet dangling into the pool talking with cait about everything that just fell apart. physically, emotionally, etc.

five things i'm slowly going to do.

1. organize my iTunes.

2. read all the books i never finished.

3. do work on time.

4. be outside more.

5. physically write in my journal more.

sometimes when i type too much, i feel like i'm going to get carpal tunnel. lately life has been packed. that's all. just packed. this weekend was amazing, i did a lot of fun things and went to a lot of good parties (sig ep/chip style, sip ep/bolton style, uptown). i'm hanging o

ut with someone more often and it's making me feel really good. i hope the feeling is mutual and not awkward. because there's always that awkward period of friendship when you can't tell if you're trying to hard and if the person doesn't mind you trying. you know? i know. i also took on a small internship (three days) with an artist manager. i worked almost twelve hours and got really sick in the process, i think. too much with too little to show for it. i really never want to be a manager. shit. he said being a tour manager is still fun, but other than that.. nah. i agree.

ps: this is where i hope to be living this time next year...

five reasons i didn't stay up late last night, after all..

1. i have this terrible new fascination with "the secret life of the american teenager" and watched two episodes that made me tired.

2. i was tired.

3. i read for like two hours straight.

4. watching bruce springsteen for twelve straight minutes.. beautiful and exhausting.

5. i had to wake up at 8:15.

today i took that picture of alec's globe, which i thought turned out really good (the globe, not the picture.. even though that's alright, too). i got home from class/the library and just wanted to sleep.. it was really a wasted day up until right now. i really have to get things done. but i was taken back by a brian fallon cover of backstreets. and a ted leo cover of dancing in the dark.

sigh.

five bands i listened to last night that i like a lot more than i did two days ago.

1. the ergs!

2. arrogant sons of bitches

3. the mars volta

4. the long winters

5. smoke or fire

last night, for being an absolute (or should i say absolut...) trainwreck, was still awesome. i just watched the craziest two minutes of the superbowl. well, besides the halftime show. i was so pleased with bruce's set! 10th avenue freeze out?! who would have guessed?! born to run is a given, i was happy with glory days and working on a dream. i'm bored with reading, i want to paint. i hate homework! blahblahblah, i feel like writing something. i probably will later. i'm going to stay up late.

five apologies.

1. i'm sorry for never updating.

2. i'm still sorry.

3. still.

4. and still.

5. i'm terrible.

i really want to update this more. about things. like how awesome my winter break was or how i will start an art project tonight or how many new bands i listen to. by the way, i write every single week for college magazine. go to www.collegemagazine.com / look for "blogs" / look for "the 4-year-blog" / that's me.

i'm bad at keeping in touch. i need to send letters and mixes soon.