Five Most Played AM! Songs (And For Good Reason)

1. Don't Lose Touch

2. We Laugh At Danger And Break All The Rules

3. Pints Of Guiness Make You Strong

4. Untitled (from the Acoustic EP)

5. Reinventing Axl Rose

I like lyrics that mean something and that you can shout out of your car window. IF THIS GM VAN DON'T MAKE IT ACROSS THE STATE LINE WE MIGHT AS WELL LAY DOWN AND DIE! BECAUSE IF FLORIDA TAKES US, WE'RE TAKING EVERYONE DOWN WITH US! WHERE WE'RE COMING FROM WILL BE THE DEATH OF US! You know, things like that.  My vacation was anything but relaxing and fun.  It was quite a disaster.  I got bit on the arm, fell on ice, read no books because there was no light, had no stamps to send my letters and left a day early.  I can't wait to get my camera and start taking pictures.  I really wish I had it for the next few days worth of activities before school starts again.  Winter vacation felt like nothing at all.  Time didn't stop at all.  Everything just kept going and going and there was no rest, for the weary or anyone else for that matter.  I still have to do math homework and read that self-important bitch Jane Austen.  I need to clean out my car, room, backpack, life life life.

Five Freshly Burned CDs

1. 8 Diagrams from Wu-Tang Clan

2. NBC Presents: The 60's

3. Stone Cold Rhymin' from Young M.C.

4. The Lemonheads from The Lemonheads

5. Pretty Much The Greatest Christmas Mix Ever from Rohan

Seriously, Rohan really did make pretty much the greatest Christmas mix ever.  That's why I didn't even try (and I don't think John did, either, even though he kept asking me where my great mix was).  We ran into each other in the parking lot (it was sort of planned.. I was coming to pick it up/he was going to his car to get it) and it was fun.  I'm excited to see everyone tomorrow.  Little Johnny (right) and the Carlucci's are coming, which is something special.  Yesterday in the city it started raining really hard.  I wish city rain would happen to me more often, it smelled good and even though my shoes were soaked, I barely felt wet.  I've also concluded that Hoboken is the best way to travel.  Transportation cost $8 to park, $3 for a MetroCard plus gas money.  Compared to the $17 it takes for the train.. Cool.  I might have to live in Hoboken for a little while.  I snapped some really good pictures.  I wish they would just upload onto the computer.

Merry Christmas! It's been Baby Jesus' birthday for an hour now.  Matthew S. Lax is coming over for the holiday so it should be quite fun.

Five Favorite Holiday Songs

1. Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis

2. Guster - Donde Es La Santa Claus?

3. Band Aid - Feed the World (Do They Know It's Christmas?)

4. Mighty Mighty Bosstones - This Time of Year

5. Away In A Manger

I'm doing everything last minute, as always.  Bought some gifts for Dennis this morning, but that's all.  I usually bake and paint everything for everyone.  Gifts don't matter that much.  I asked Santa for a Nikon D40, but I think if I get it I'll feel really guilty because it's expensive and I'd rather buy it myself.  Anyway.. Today I'm going to the city (hopefully getting some nice PJs somewhere for the NYE partay) and to my dad's house for "Christmas Eve".  Since he doesn't come over for Christmas morning anymore, we go to his house on the 23rd for Christmas Eve and the 24th is Christmas morning.  You know?  Haha.  I have to work on the fam's annual Christmas DVD!  Last night Dann, Annie and I went to Westfield in all it's pre-Christmasy glory.  So cute.  We went to John's house and hung out with Beth and the dog.  So cute.  We took a lot of funny pictures that were totally indie and scene.  Hahahah.  We layed in the middle of the busy street, really long exposures, black and white, coffee cups.. The whole thing.  But my camera, as always, doesn't work with my computer anymore.

Five Terrible Things About Pre-Christmas Week.

1. Teachers still think we're paying attention.

2. Every class has to get ONEEE more test in before we leave.

3. "Well, since you have the next week OFF, I might as well give you 102,923 projects..."

4. All of my nights have been dedicated to making Christmas gifts.  Homework is put off until Block 2 Journalism.  But hey, it gets done, right?

5. Slow. Slow. Sllllllllllllow.

Slow, like a row of l's or a row of i's.  When you type a row of l's or i's you press the button forever, yet get nowhere.  Nothing like a row of w's or v's.  All of my weeks thus far have been w's.  But now, when it counts, I get an l week.  Let me free, let me run free.  I'm craving iced tea so badly right now.  I've never wanted to consume a beverage this badly in my life.  My throat is wanting.  Wanting.  I've been drinking bottled water but everything about it is wrong.  Everything.  If I were motivated enough, I'd run out to King's right now.  Now.

Wanting everything now.  No delayed gratification, no patience.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

I can't even wait for that.  I copied and pasted.

Five Cool Things About Whole Wheat Bread

1. They have the greatest shirts ever. "Dirty South Punk Rock" and "I Love Black People" and "Fuck the Police".

2. They do the Soulja Boy dance on stage.

3. "Why is it that you white people are always on that show 'When Animals Attack'?"

4. They rock out and rap while doing so.

5. Before they go on stage, the audience chants "Whole Wheat Bread ain't nothin' to fuck wit!"

Honestly, WWB was one of the best acts I've seen in a while.  Big D was okay, but WWB had tremendous energy and the crowd loved them.  Also, Brain Failure.  A band from Beijing. So good, even though at times I couldn't really understand them.  I like ska shows a lot, I don't think I go to enough of them.  After the show we went to Time To Eat, where the kids behind us were listening to our very awkward conversation.  We laughed a lot after that.  It was a really good time.  Cynthia says they have another show in January... More: Today I managed to draw out all of my Christmas presents for my work folks.  Now I just have to paint them all and stuff.  Ah, there's a lot to do in a short week.

Five Lyrics About This

1. "I just want you to know I have a major crush on you.  I'd take you to Las Vegas to do the things you want to do.  I'd even have Wayne Newton dedicate a song to you.  I only wish that this could be."

2. "I know I'll always stop and see you.  We'll run into each other's fucked up lives.  Yeah, I guess, although it tears me up inside."

3. "I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.  I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.  But if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me. I promise you, I promise you I will."

4. "If we're never together, if I'm never back again.. well, I swear to God that I'll love you forever."

5. "You're all that I need, though I know that it never can be, I'd be pleased to post your decrees, to fall at your knees, to name all your streets and to sit down and weep when you're carried back through them and set down to sleep and to lie by your side for sublime centuries until we crumble to dust when we're crushed by a single sun."

okay, i always fall for the wrong people at the wrong times and everything about this is just wrong, wrong, wrong but it feels right. it feels all right. i'm feeling alright. i just want to tell him. while we're just sitting/standing there doing nothing or when we're outside and he's smoking or when he's talking to me about music. because i love those three things about him. i love nothing and cigarette smoke during the winter and music. that's all. i miss him when i'm not around him and i miss him when i am around him. it's a perpetual fucking clash between all of my emotions all the time. no one should ever think this hard about anything. i don't put this much effort into my school work.

was this too much?

and all i keep thinking about is:

someone come home.

Five Of The Ten Million Things I Love About My English Teacher

1. He has the greatest glasses. 

2. His vocabulary frequents the word "pagenation".

3. I'm convinced he's hiding tattoos under his sweaters.

4. He used to be a DJ.

5. He doesn't really like gin.

The first time I met Mr. Belsky, I didn't know about any of this.  The only thing I knew about him was that he definitely knew where Belgium was located.  Which was important, and I believe his is the sole reason I passed my German 4 midterm.  But now that I know him I'm convinced that he's the silliest man alive.  It's a good thing, shall he ever read this.  However, I don't think he will.  He doesn't understand why we all have blogs.  Quite frankly, neither do I.  Every day is an adventure, I guess.  Wherever I wind up in twenty years.. it's comforting to know that I'll always have the Internet to remind me of my youth.

Five Reasons I'm Happy Today

1. I'm going to NYU.

2. I'll be living in the city full time next year.

3. No more college applications<3.

4. Communication with bestfriend.

5. I did none of my homework and do not care one bit! I'm too happy.

SO YEAH, THAT'S WHERE I'M AT.  The picture (which is the Christmas tree in Rockafell'a' Center) is worth 48,000 words.  Explosion! Ecstacy! Color! Goodness, it's so surreal. Like, in four more years I'll have a degree from New York University. Are you for real? Me?! Class of 2012.  I feel like everything has finally paid off.  Staying up late, procrastination, sleep deprivation.  I did it.  I did it and it feels so fulfilling.  Everyone has been really happy for me, which I think is the best part of this whole experience.  I just think it's such a beautiful thing that people, though they're all worried about their own college endeavors, can still feel this tremendous happiness for others.  I love it.  Sometimes we suck, but we're really good deep down.  Everyone I've ever known is the best.  I know that I couldn't do any of this without them.  I know I couldn't.  Like Chuck says, "I am the combined effort of everyone I know."  THANK YOU, MR. PALAHNIUK.

Five Beautiful Things About Philadelphia

Last night in New York I saw the cast of the Real World. People don't translate from the Real World to the real world very well.  They all looked so perfect, even though I know they aren't... My new promise to myself is trying to do one piece of art every day.  Let's hope it lasts long.  Hey, my brother sent an e-mail to Tom Gabel and he sent one back.  That's all the excitement I can handle right now.

Five Good Reasons You Should Have Come to Fest

1. Keg!

2. Pong!

3. Rock band!

4. Helium!

5. Suggestive photos!

Honestly, tonight was the most fun I've had in ages with my Germans. And, awesome news... My computer finally read my camera!!! 734 pictures!!! Holy crap, I'm so excited.  Anyway, tonight. Basically, we got the keg of birch beer, Sarah stuck her head under it, we set up about 6 pong tables, we danced, did kareoke, played so much Rock Band, danced, James chugged an ENTIRE BOTTLE of syrup, a few people puked, we ate pie, we ate other things, we made waffles. I am in love.  And I'm off to load about 730 pictures on the Book.

Five Things That Were Awesome About Today

1. No third block.

2. Party instead of third block.

3. Amazingly good pizza.

4. Compliments. :)

5. Crazy drawings.

PS. It's still snowing a little.

Entry by the lovely Cayce Clifford.  Truly outrageous!  Much like reading Candide and doing a 7-page paper in one night.. Tonight Frauglow is teaching me how to make German kaltehund, so Danny and I are doing that.  After I finish my homework for the next two nights.. Because tomorrow I have Elan, then I'm going to Sarah's with Cynthia to make waffles (! yeah, really) and then heading to our all night Fest party.  This week flew.. Next week my entire future will be decided for me.  Wonderful.  Overwhelming.  Either/or.

Five Things I Already Love About the Reissue of Goddamnit!

1. It's on Asian Man. Thank you, thank you.

2. There's a DOCUMENTARY on the DVD.  A real documentary.

3. Brendan Kelly wrote a liner note.  He is all sorts of wonderful.

4. The bonus tracks are the '96 demo!! This means Weak Week!!

5. Matt Allison.  Remixed and remastered by Matt Allison. Omg.

After listening to the track on the myspace, though (myspace.com/goddamnitredux), I'm still excited by it sounds different than I imagined.  But I think it's only because myspace sucks.  I'm so excited for this album.  Ten years.  Ten glorious years of Alkaline Trio.. March! March! March! Ughh, I can't wait.  I hope we get it early.  We got Remains about a week ahead of time. 

FYE is now open until 10pm on weekdays.  Ugh.  This means I work until atleast 10:30.  Tonight it'll be atleast 11, though.  Superbad AND Pirates of the whateverwhatever and whoever chest curse death come out tomorrow.

Five Things I (and Dann and LB) Did In Five Minutes (ish) Yesterday

1. Watched a woman's bag for her at Cosi.

2. Watched a dog and cat come out of the bag.

3. Chased the woman for two blocks to offer her help.

4. Carried her bags to the Starbucks on 37th and 8th.

5. Spilled a cup of hot Green Tea at the Starbucks.

I love New York.   I'm going back on Friday because I have no work.  Knowing this, I'm assuming I'll have to work next Friday and won't be able to go see Diana's band (and BIG D!). I really hope I can go to that show, though.  I'm going to beg Johnny today. :) I hear back from NYU in less than two weeks.  Slow down, you're moving to fast.

And, I'm officially asking for a Nikon D40 for Xmas.  I'm offering to pay for half of it, but I do not want to pay for all of it.

Edit: It needs work, but...

A Genuine Faux

"This is nothing like Paris," she said

Opening her wallet to a strategically placed passport

That screamed Cultivé!

She impressed us with her knowledge

Of madeleines and Marcel Proust

As we stood in line for

Peppermint Mochas

and Double Tall Soy Lattes

As she ordered her

Demitasse of the le plat du jour.

"In Paris," she said, "your feet never touch the ground."

She told us of romance, of Eiffel Towers

Her eyes in the distance as if

She could see it, right there

On 37th and 8th Avenue.

She had certainly gone somewhere

In her mind and had forgotten

To come back.

Five Things I Learned In Calculus

1. In Chinese, "student" means to learn to better your life.

2. Always always always HAVE GUTS.

3. When you're young... Work. Don't complain.

4. If you want to make a lot of money, buy multi-family homes near a University.  College kids will take whatever they can get.

5. What truly matters is the concept behind the answer and not the answer itself.

Life lessons by Dr. MC Chow.  My Calculus Book by Dr. MC Chow.  Understanding Music Theory by Dr. MC Chow.  On Playing Bridge by Dr. MC Chow.  Encyclopedia of Telecommunications Volume 12 by Dr. MC Chow.  Honestly, what isn't by Dr. MC Chow these days..

Even though I barely understand anything, Calculus has taught me so much.

ISN'T IT WEIRD HOW NOTHING MAKES SENSE?

Five Really Good Texts I Have Recieved In The Last Week

1. "Guess who I've been talking to lately? Gary! He totally still wants me!" -- Becky

2. "It almost makes me want to be on vicodin for car rides." -- Anna

3. "Fuck the FYE." -- Matt

4. "ask alex if becca's a bitch. family wants to know, lol" -- Dann

5. "SAKI BOMB!" -- Annie

People (old people, really) always criticize today's youth for texting when we can just pick up the phone and call.  But I don't think you can call someone just to randomly say "SAKI BOMB!".  Text messages are a lot more fun because you can say things that are completely out of context in the midst of a conversation.  For instance, Becky had asked me about "My So Called Life" (if we had the set in the store, how much it wa$, etc) and the next thing I know, Gary still wants her.  You wouldn't normally go from Claire Danes and Jared Leto to a random ex-coworker of an ex-coworker at the drop of a saki bomb.  Am I right?

Five Songs That Are Surely Going on Fall Tunes.

1. Autumn Sweater by Yo La Tengo

2. Halloween by Matt Pond PA

3. Fallen Leaves by Teenage Fanclub

4. What's New For Fall by Desaparecidos

5. Autumn Got Dark by Portastatic

------

What I like most about Fall is getting to wear sweaters and gloves.  It's also comforting seeing Anna's red and her Agent Scully coat.  She is so fashionable and always matches.  I want something to match my tan gloves, but I would never wear a tan scarf because it seems too boring.  I want RED, I want ORANGE, I want COLORS.  Tan is not a color.. This reminds me so much of the conversations John, Kerry and I would have about "the absence of color".   Second to scarves, I love fall music.  It's the perfect perfect perfect combination of those summer ANTHEMS that you sing along with all the time and those winter ANTHEMS that have no words at all and are just there to emphasize the 4pm darkness that consumes your life.  Third to music and scarves, I like Fall because college kids still want to come home and see everyone. 

Speaking of college, I would like to personally thank Facebook for reconnecting me with everyone that I love.  Thank for Facebook, because now Rio and I are hanging out on Friday, something we seriously have not done since New Years Eve.

--------------

6. September Song by The Album Leaf

7. My Cosmic Autumn Rebellion by The Flaming Lips

8. The Latest Toughs by Okkervil River

9. Section 26 (We Crawl) by The Polyphonic Spree

10. Houston We Have Uh-Oh by Minus the Bear

11. Speedbump by MU330*

12. The Promise by New Found Glory

13. Chump Change by The New Pornographers

14. On the Radio by Regina Spektor

15. Sink, Florida, Sink by Against Me!

16. Fake Palindromes by Andrew Bird

...Note, this is the rough draft I'm giving out in school tomorrow.  Then I'm tweaking it, making a nice cover and things of that nature.

*11-16 aren't very fallish songs, so they probably won't make the final cut.  But I just love them so much.  Regina may make it, though. Hm.

Five Reasons Last Night RuledXcoreXcore

1. Getting free Vitamin Water, but trying to divide up the rest of our "costs" until it didn't make sense.

2. Us not getting lost, but going on a detour adventure.

3. BABY I'M AN ANARCHIST.

4. Sage Francis taught us how to climb trees.

5. Warren was totally cool and touched my jacket (which is, "a cross between Kermit the Frog and Fozzy").

Also, Dann.  Because he is wonderful and gave me like six CDs (Mirah, They Shoot Horses, etc).  Next adventure: New York/Westfield/New York/Roundtrip tickets/trying to see what would be least expensive for everyone.  Why do weekends all go by so fast now?  I already have to leave for work in an hour, be there until seven, go get food and Reign Over Me and then it will be Sunday, which will only be work and homework.  This isn't a real week (half-day wednesday/fourday weekend), so that's comforting.

Five Reasons Tomorrow WIll RuleXcoreXcore

1. White pizza.

2. Free Vitamin Water.

3. Dann.

4. Driving to Phila in the wondrous Saturn.

5. AGAINST ME!

So yeah, it's been more than a few months (since we last saw AM!) and I've been going crazy.  I've also been going tired.. Running myself ragged. Tomorrow night will be !!!! of course, but Saturday (after I work) I'm renting Ratatouille and Reign Over Me and watching them.  John says they're both really good.  Good.

Five Reasons I Am Going to HATE Tonight

1. The people are still here.

2. I have so much homework.

3. I'm already crying because of #2.

4. I had four days off, and this is the first time I've been in my house more than six hours.

5. It starts a new week that is going to suck majorly.  ** edit: except for going to see AGAINST ME! on friday. i'm so excited for this. and possibly again on SATURDAY. all of the sudden, i love against me! with every bone in my body.. this tells me alkaline trio has not been on tour lately (truth).

I hate school.  I hate LAMP (sorry).  I hate Europe, Literature and teachers from Taiwan.  I hate not knowing where I'm going.  I hate having to work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night this week.  I hate having to work when I also have to pick up twenty thousand things for GHS Thanksgiving Baskets.  I hate the stupid fuckers in that club who didn't sign up to do anything.  I hate feeling like I let people down.  I hate you, College.  I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate when I shouldn't.

For Christmas, I want the book "14,000 Things to be Happy About".  I feel like I constantly fucking need it sometimes.

Five Reasons I Love Soulja Boy

1. His sunglasses.

2. His album is called "souljaboytellem.com". Yes, .com.

3. Anyone who can incorporate RoboCop into a hit single is good.

4. I have no idea what Supermaning a ho is, but I wanna do it.

5. My generation needed it's own 'Thriller'.

Tonight, I'm going to learn that dance.  I swear.  My aunt rented out her house to me, because I have company over this weekend.  I'm going there, turning up her surround sound and doing it.  The people were up until 3am last night.. I went to bed around 2 because last night was crazy (work, anne's, new jersey transit at 11:50pm, new york city) and I was so tired.  Today is already crazy.  I actually have the entire weekend off, but have no down time.  Homework?  I need to shower and make some mixes.

Five Reasons I Almost Quit My Job

1. Monday night I didn't leave until 11:00pm.

2. A certain manager whose name starts with R and end with aeneka.

3. Some customer actually said "Thanks.. for nothing!" (which I laughed at).

4. We got 10,000 copies of Jay-Z and there's nowhere to put them.

5. No one bought "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry".

Do you think Charles Bukowski would be proud of me?  If I wrote things without meter or any rhymes at all..  If I wrote things about chain smoking and binge drinking and sleeping around..  If I dropped out of school to become a famous writer in some crazy writer town like New York of LA.. I don't think he would be.  He would say (without meter or rhyme): "be fucking original."  You know what's original?  Watching 24 Hour Party People and falling asleep.

Five Feelings I'm Feelings.

1. Tired.

2. Underappreciated.

3. Stressed.

4. Nervous.

5. Excited.

I gained an hour of sleep last night, yet I am still (1).  I worked six days this week, and it made me feel incredibly (2).  Can I please have more money?  I'm certainly (3) because of an English paper I have due tomorrow, a huge Euro test, lots of Calculus studying and make up work for my midterm on Tuesday.  I'm (4) for the Calc midterm, because I doubt I even have an 80 in that class.. I don't understand it at all.  I study hard, I go to tutorial, and yet.. nothing gets better.  I'm (4) that colleges will see my Calc grade and tell me to sit and rotate because I'm terrible.  But (5) keeps me going.  After Wednesday, I will have four days to myself.  I'm going to the city twice, working, I get to see my NH folk. Dan In Real Life.

If I can just get through tonight.. somehow it'll make me feel like everything is going to be okay.

i said, "i know i don't know shit,

because i've never been there."

ned's atomic dustbin. how good. god fodder. tonight's album. feelings you're feelings. musicians, if no one else, know about feeling feelings.

Five Things I've Misplaced Recently

1. My mix from John.

2. The last two issues of Rolling Stone.

3. Go Ask Alice.

4. English assignment rubric/instructions (due Tuesday, lols).

5. Secondary work shirt.

My brain has been all over the place lately.  I may have left it at the New York State Theatre today.  I know my brain is tired, it just spend two hours in city traffic.  I want to catch up on sleep, but stay up late to do homework at the same time.  But then, I end up doing everything but homework and still stay up until midnight.  How do heads work?  How do brains work?  I want to study neural science to figure out why I do certain things. I want to learn why I procrastinate and how I don't sleep but have no desire to nap.  When you Google 'neural science' the first thing that comes up is: "Center for Neural Science, New York University".  Try it.  Google it.  Did you try?  Now why did you try?  Because I asked or because you didn't believe me or because you have time to waste?  I want to know. 

"I'm too tired not to be with you." -- That's probably what will happen.  Soon enough, soon enough.

Five Reasons the ACTs Suck

1. Waking up at 6:30 on a Saturday (I thought it was actually Friday for the second time)

2. The closest place offering them was Plainfield.

3. Getting lost on the way home + Newark + not paying the toll + rain + alone.

4. They wouldn't even allow water to be in the classroom.

5. SCIENCE.

The rain will always stop.  That's all you need to remember.  And when the sun does come out, you hardly remember it was raining in the first place.

Five Reasons I Started This

1. To write more.

2. To take more pictures.

3. I'm bored of everything else.

4. To give me something to do during HTML class.

5. This is better than LJ.

My camera finally decided to upload pictures onto the computer again. So, I now have 682 more pictures on my computer today than I did yesterday.  I need to find a place for them all.  I need to read, calculate and eat dinner with my dad for his birthday.  I told him we could go to Westfield (new favorite place: circles, banks, mexicanfood, picture) but he said it was too far away.

Later: I go to dinner with my dad.  Back at his house, it looks like someone cleaned.. It turns out someone got him a full day of maid service for his birthday.  It was much needed.  Now I'm back home and it's already 9:00.  I have to make a brochure for HS inductions tomorrow, which takes priority because I can't exactly do it tomorrow.  Soo, I decided that after I do that I'm going to pass out.  I'll wake up early tomorrow to read the next 20 pages in Medea, spend a few moments in HTML taking five notes of quality, and do the Calc homework at lunch because it's semi-understandable and there's not too many problems.  Tomorrow I'll come home after Calc tutorial, start reading the Euro chapter, finish reading Medea and taking notes for our panel discussion, do more Calc homework (if needed), take a shower, go to Staples to make copies of this lame brochure, go to the Induction Ceremony.. come back home around 9:30/10:00 and pass out again.  But there's a really good weekend coming up.. during which I NEED to start my Bukowski paper. 2,000 Worter?!?  I will have four hours on Saturday after ACTs to do all of my homework and write a LAMP article.

Atleast New Jersey isn't on fire yet.  The apocalypse is coming and it's too bad I have to go out like this.